Upon receiving the gift of a left over concession coupon book, I decided to treat myself to a movie. And that movie was SUCKER PUNCH.
You have heard the joke of a plot by now but here it is again. Sucker Punch is about a messed up girl in a mental ward who creates not 1 but 2 alternate realities to help her cope/escape. Mental institution becomes erotic dance camp, erotic dance camp becomes Final Fantasy cut scene. I feel like the VISIONARY FILMMAKER performed this setting transition whenever he ran out of ideas/talent to make the current one work. Not only do we have an unwieldily premise we have an uneasy tone that neither the people involved in making the movie or the people watching it can handle.
So we have our main character, who has a dumb name so I am going to call her VICTIM. She is a victim, her attempts to fight back are met with imprisonment, rape (not sure if this actually happened because the filmmaker is a coward), and a lobotomy (SPOILERZ). The VICTIM looks like a barely legal adult film actress no matter what setting she is acting in and she's got some friends, which all fare better aside from the High School Musical girl. Nothing in this film really counts as a performance aside from the Mad Men guy doing his Mad Men thing at the end.
The script sounds as if it was written by the biggest punk in a small town sunday school class. The type of kid who would just throw out the word nazi or molestation because he was bored and wanted to get a small group discussion off topic. When challenged why he would bring up such an unrelated topic he would just put his headphones back on or resume texting. Not accountable for what he says, just wanted attention and then couldn't figure out the right way to get it, and then didn't know what to do with the spotlight which he highjacked from the proper stars.
The women in the movie are held captive by the men, the girls formulate a generic plan and then do a triple-dream to pull it off. Or not pull it off. I can't really tell if any of them succeeded or not. About half of the movie is cut to a cover/remix of a classic song, I actually didn't mind this because it hid the terrible acting/dialouge and showcased what the director is good at, which is camera angles and transitions.
The Good:
-Zach Snyder (VISIONARY FILMMAKER) uses a really warm lens/digital finish in all of his movies and I like it. It's getting old because this is the third time in a row he's used it, but it works.
-The Mad Men guy, I said "Hey what's up?" in the theater when I saw him. Good to see him out of the Ad Agency.
- I had a coupon for free roasted almonds, they were awesome.
- Tricked the guy to let me buy a student ticket, I'm a pro like that.
- I saw it alone. All my movie friends left me so this is the ideal scenario for this stage in my life.
- The music was good
- Jamie from Real World San Diego is still acting!
The Bad:
- VICTIM's make-up, pouty face, deliberate aging down to make it more creepy or deviant
- You don't ever see the girls dance, a cut away from the action/mayhem and back to what was "really" happening would have done a lot to make this thing more watchable
- What does Sucker Punch mean? Its a joke title for a non-joke movie... a more appropriate title would be "Exploited Girls Gone Wild"
- Fighting sections could have had some/any type of correlation with each other to trick me into thinking it wasn't a complete waste of time.
- High School Musical girl was the worst part of a terrible movie
- Carla Gugino's polish accent/character was the worst thing to happen to a sweet actress
- It's a creepy creepy PG13
The Verdict:
- The movie made a bad impression on my, but at least it made an impression. I would recommend at least looking at part of it to see how misguided it is. I did not become aroused at all during this movie which I think means that I am starting to respect women.
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