I hate video game media #2: Women

Fact: Free time and disposable income are limited.

Fact: Video games can take up a significant portion of one's free time and disposable income.

Fact: Girls can take up a significant portion of one's free time and disposable income.

With free time and disposable income limited many people who are invested in either video games or women can often be unlearned in the other. So when a woman talks about video games she is often talking about stereotypes of video games from 1994.

"Oh my gaw'd they are so violent, I was like, why are we wasting our time at the arcade? You said you would take me to Steketies!" - A woman that I just made up in my head.

And since a woman is confused about what video games are, it is only appropriate that video game media is confused about what to do with humans with the X chromosome. Here is a hastily put together list of what women are to video game media:

Women are my GIRLFRIEND!

If you are writing a review about a game that doesn't involve shooting, it is important to mention what your girlfriend thinks/would think of it. If girlfriend does not exist please make her up or talk about "impressing ladies."

Example: The Wii is an excellent system for my GIRLFRIEND because she pretend the controller is a dwarven shake-weight.

Women are GAMERS TOO!

Just do the job of reviewing the game or previewing the game, or doing the dishes.... we don't need to bring your gender into it. The only turf war that is being waged is inside your own head. The Internet says that women don't play video games because they are the Internet and they hate everything. Your daddy may have told you that you can't be a doctor, and it turns out that's true because now you regurgitate video game press releases for a living.

Women are READING STUFF IN FRONT OF A CAMERA WEARING PROM OUTFITS

I think that anyone who reads any type of news for any type of video production should start off the segment by saying "Hello, My name is _____ and I am talking about _____ and what I say is important because of _____"

Hello, My name is Jessica Chobot and I am talking about video game strategies that aren't really strategies and what I say is important because one time I licked a PSP.

This is coming across as women-hating and it's really not my intention, I just think video game journalism is a joke. How can they cover a rapidly changing industry when they don't even know how to speak to or receive input from women. We here complaints about portrayals of women by the media and its due to the media not knowing how to utilize women period, especially in the video game sector.

Ok I'm done.