EA Active is 20 dollars at Sam's Club and possibly Toys R Us

Sleepy cricket and I both purchased EA Active for Xbox and PS3 respectively. I have completed two days worth of workouts and I would like to make it part of my daily routine despite the jank. I have said this before of Wii Fit, but Wii Fit sucks. The primary reason why Wii Fit sucked was because it made you go to the main menu after every routine. The average routine in Wii Fit was about 1.5 minutes long, and few of the routines involved keeping a WiiMote in your hand. So routine ended up being; start Wii, select your Mii, get harrassed for not playing often enough, select workout, LOAD, start routine, LOAD, select another, LOAD, shut the Wii off without saving in disgust.

EA Active 2 seems to correct most of these problems, but the PS3 version adds a new one. You have to wear arm bands on both arms and 1 thigh, which the game tracks about 50% of the time. This means its awkward and you are going to do 50% more reps than the game will give you credit for. But what the hey, it was 20 dollars and I don't really have a suppliment right now to my increasingly occasional runs.

Heavy Rain- An American Shenmue as Performed by the French

During my senior year of high school as special little/large game called Shenmue came out and justified my love of the Dreamcast. It was an awkward and and occasionally perplexing adventure game where the action took a backseat to getting to know a young man as he investigates a murder. This game sadly wasn't enough to save the Dreamcast, in fact it probably was on of the things that did the system in.

12 years later we get a shockingly similar game with the same successes and largely the same failures. Seeing that I have been waiting paitently for a Shenmue follow up (no Shenmue 2 doesn't count) I was eager to play the "game."

"Game" is in quotes because Heavy Rain is an interactive movie. Anything that made Shenmue a game like experience like the fighting system or open world environments has been removed and replaced with brutally efficient storytelling. Maybe efficient is a stretch for Heavy Rain. Heavy Rain tells the story of four different characters who are looking into the a serial murderer known as the "Origami Killer."

The story basics have been done to death but the 4 person shifting format makes it interesting. I got annoyed at the perspective shifting every time something interesting was going to happen but it kept the "game" moving. The only possibly experience crippling problem with Heavy Rain is that the game was written and performed by French people. I don't really have too much against the French, but when only 1 out of 4 of the main characters can pronounce the villan's name (it's "origami" not "oRAYgAYME") then maybe the casting director should have bought American.

I can ignore the voice acting though, I can actually ignore a lot of stuff in media because it gives me a chance to use my imagination. The wrote in a mental back story for characters so the mispronunciation was due to something that happened off camera such as a stroke or learning to read phonically.

The action in the game is only quicktime events, which I think video games are trending away from but I really don't mind them. As a game Heavy Rain is a decent experience, it didn't bring me into the world like Shenmue did, mainly because there is no world to be brought into. There is a solid story in place and scenes to help the virtual-terrible actors act out.

I think this game is on to something, but I just wish they could crank games out like this faster and cheaper. Like do it like TellTale Games does with their adventure games, but instead of dumb 90's area puzzles just have a decision based/choose your own adventure style gameplay. I am happier with the $20 dollars that I spent on this 5 hour game than the $20 dollars I would have spent on a movie or something.

I hate video game media #3: They Hate Video games.

Final post about game media, you can resume reading blog after this post.

Hate is a strong word. I use incorrectly. I don't think I hate. In this case I care about deeply and get upset when video game media refuses to get with the program on how to cover video games. I understand there is a 24 hour news cycle or whatever and the information beast must be fed, but you are a machine. A machine that hates video games. Am I using hate incorrectly again? Probably but here is why video game media hates video games:

Video game media wants bad things to happen in the video game industry:

Activision laying off 400 or so people was the best thing to happen to most video game reporters since the last crummy thing that Activision did (getting into a fight with COD developer infinity ward) which was the best thing to happen to most video game reporters since the last crummy thing that EA did (... probably the old regime of business). I get it, I am a writer (eh.... ok no), it is easier to tear something down than build something up, but your website is not titled JoystiqSAREDRIVENBYCORPORATEGREED.com. I also understand that bad news is easier to find, write about and promote than the small successes that drive 95% of the world.

Video game media values games that do not exist instead of games that do exist

Most of my reasons that the media hates video games are problems with the reader as well. But are the media just giving us what we want or have they weened us on to what's easiest to produce. Video game media will push the heck out of previews and game announcements over reviews (unless the reviews are exclusive or early or something), and I guess that is due to the NEW in news but I look to the gaming media to see where my limited gaming time and monies should be spent, not to look at some gee wiz thing that has a 50% chance of being canceled or retooled beyond recognition before its release in 18 months.

I'm not saying don't tell me what to look forward to, I'm saying value the recently released and updated stuff as much as what isn't out there. Here is a ratio, release/post release coverage of game X should be equal to or greater than prerelease or announcement coverage of X. Do I need a 5000 word review of a DS game? Not really, but how about 3 reviews from reviewers of different backgrounds, old EGM style but with all of them giving an equal take on the subject.

Oh forget it I'm just jealous that unfunny non-writers at joystiq and the like get paid to be the vultures of the game industry.

I wish I had their lives.

I hate video game media #1: Sarcasm/Filler

Someone is getting paid to post this on a popular video game site:

"The latest game console travel case from manufacturer GAEMS -- yes, it's really spelled like that, we promise -- is an unarguably slicker offering than the company's previous products. The pack has room for a 360, 360 S or PS3 Slim console, all the requisite cords and power bricks, a couple of controllers, speakers and a built-in LED monitor -- yet, despite its contents, the GAEMS case isn't the size of a small houseboat. We've only got one, inconceivably nerdy explanation: Bag of Holding. Like, it's gotta be, right?

The case will be released sometime in June for $300 -- though you can knock $20 off the price by pre-ordering before April 20. We wonder if we could pay an extra $20 to get a product that's spelled correctly.Sheeeesh."

So Joystiq.com got a press release about a system travel case with a built-in lcd monitor and thought it was worthy of a post. Actually their sister site engadget got a press release and their post was used for the basis of another post. Scraping the bottom of the barrel but it's Sunday so we'll ignore that for now.

Here is the actual news in the post.

• New Travel Case coming out in June
• Has an LCD Monitor builtin
• 300 dollars in june or 280 if you preorder
• works with xbox 360, xbox 360 S or PS3 Slim, NOT PS3 OLD MODELS (not mentioned in story so I will assume it doesn't work with it)

It's looking like not worthy of a story but they need to keep the view count up so they fill it full of garbage to pad it out. Hmmm... what can we throw in here.. Hey its got a silly name, theres at least 3 sentences! If that doesn't work we can try one of the following ways to turn this into something.

1. Has the company made anything in the past? Was that thing a success or failure? Rub their face in it.

2. Tie it into whatever is most popular this second. "This travel game case WITH THE HILARIOUS NAME would be a tiny alternative for playing Marvel VS. Capcom 3, but it would make the grotesquely large supermoves a more manageable size. Tiny screens can only give you tiny epilepsy!"

3. Mention how you and your coworkers get paid to write about video games and regurgitate press releases for a living. "We'll post a couple more times about this product in June when a free unit gets sent to the Joystiq offices at the AOL mothership. We will gather our staff around and bask in the travel cases 9" of LCD glow. I have a coworker from South Africa named Ludwig."

4. Insert Call of Duty or World of Warcraft any where in the article for any reason.

5. Take a quick pass at press release, find something it can't do and make the article about that. "NO WII SUPPORT? WON'T ANYONE MAKE A CASE FOR ME TO WAGGLE AT?!?!??"

Frustrations with video game media is going to be my theme this week unless anything notable happens (it won't) so I understand if you lose interest and stop reading forever. I think SLEEPY CRICKET might have started a livejournal as they have been out of fashion long enough to be considered contrarian so I recommend checking that out.

Watching People Play Videogames is My Favorite

I enjoy videogames (forget you spell check I'm making it one word) but with my busy and important schedule I don't have time to keep up with them. I try to read about them to fill the gap, but videogame media is terrible and it triggers my gag reflex if I read too much of it. I really despise most of the people who write about videogames, maybe not the people but their work and their personality. But this post is not about the failures of videogame content, it is about the success.

Over the past year I have grown to enjoy people playing videogames and talking about them on the Internet. Not just any people but people who both love videogames and have lived life outside of them enough to be able to speak in a manner that doesn't piss me off.

Here are two amazing sources of my videogame voyeuring:

Giantbomb.com Quicklooks:

http://www.giantbomb.com/videos/

Usually only playing notable games of recent release, these guys are amazing.

Let's Play Archive:

http://lparchive.org/

These are done by members of a message board so they are much more hit or miss. But most of the time they play the complete game and also have a much better selection of older stuff.

That's all I got. I am trying to channel my hatred into a proper write up of the failures of videogame media.

Fable 3: The Gamiest Game that Ever Gamed

The goal tonight is to tell you what I thought of this videogame without making it bitter about my life and having equal to or less than 3 rape jokes. Let's see how I do....

I completed the main quest in Fable 3 last Friday right before I took off on a very long road trip. It was one of the three games I purchased from the Best Buy B2G1 deal they were having a couple weeks ago. I tolerated Fable 1 and enjoyed Fable 2 so I was reasonably excited for the third one despite the iffy reviews it got upon release.

Before I get into the game, due to a pricing mistake or something the cheapest version of the game was the special edition. Normally I avoid these because they are filled with crap, but honestly this is the best packaging I have seen for a videogame. It comes with a kind of real looking Bible-esque case which contains the game and some bonus junk. Will I use any of it ever? Probably not, but its slick and well contained. Unlike that Halo Reach set which is in a pallet sized box for absolutely no reason.

To speak of the game I will be speaking of all 3 Fable games because not much has changed in the series. Fable 3 is Legend of Zelda's ADD British Brother. It is a dumbed down action RPG which substitutes being British for being clever. The story in the series is you aint nothin' then you become something, your actions reflect how you turn out as a character. In Fable 3 you are specifically the son/daughter of the person from Fable 2 and your evil brother kicks you out for being not evil. You then go on random quests enlisting the support of the 7 or so areas of the world. Once everyone has your back you then take back the kingdom from your brother and become the main dude/lady. These are the same beats that the first two games followed and eh... I guess it still works.

Fable 3's only new idea is that after you become King you have a "year" (5 days) to be either a good king or a bad king before you have a final battle to save the kingdom. And by good and bad I mean black and white. One of your decisions is whether or not to turn a orphanage into a whorehouse. I will let you cut through the layers of story to decipher which of these is the good and which is the bad option. The way you play the game even has less to do with anything than the first two games. The only thing it impacts is a couple of story line beats and how dirty your character looks.

The gameplay is serviceable, just as it has been in Fable 1 and 2. Three different types of attacks and no limits to ammo or magic... it gets monotonous and I believe the game designers knew this because your battles are very short. In fact there are probably less than 10 "levels" and the rest are just random encounters with a couple bad guys who teleport out of nowhere. You are normally just running around town buying property and performing variations on fetch quests. Property is your main source of earning money and eventually the only thing that determines whether you "win" the game or not. The game economy can totally be broken by just leaving the game running all night while your income stacks up.... and I'm kind of ok with that.

The game world seems very small and very disconnected by loading screens and unrelated landscapes. There is no over-world, you just warp to random villages scattered throughout the map of your kingdom. If GTA can give us New York City with few loading screens then a far less detailed fantasy setting should be doable without being so choppy.

There is co-op and one great improvement over Fable 3 is not having to share the screen. It was unforgivable in Fable 2 so I'm not sure if not making the same mistake twice is something to be commended.

The largest quirk in the game is the elimination of any menu/map system. All of this has been replaced by an over-world which you warp to by hitting the pause button. Each thing you would want to look at is in a separate room. I believe what the goal was with this is to make it seem more fluid, but it just makes it annoying and crappy like doing stuff in real life. If I want to change my clothes or weapons in real life I have to walk over to my dresser or trunk of my car, but I don't want the game to be like my real life because my real life has a lot of useless crap in it. It's a pretty big pain in the butt and almost kills the game, but those who are set on playing it will get over it.

I enjoyed Fable 2, it took a lot of things from Zelda that I liked and did them at a much faster pace with actual voice acting and pretty graphics. The characters and story were worthless but that made me imagine new story lines around all of the NPC's I murdered/impregnated with my video game seed. But then I played Fable 3 and it was Fable 2 with a weird makeup that I didn't like smeared over it. Everything that was added was at the expense of something I enjoyed in Fable 2. The King stuff came at the expense of any significant levels or boss battles. The awful non-menu came at the expense of something I could easily track my progress with.

But underneath the weird stuff there is the Fable foundation, I fast paced adventure game that lets you go crazy and not care about consequences, despite the games biggest selling point being that you have to deal with consequences (consequences=what your character looks like). If you enjoyed Fable 2 I would check this out if it was on sale, if you haven't played Fable 2 I would play that first/instead.

Alpha Protocol

If you don't play videogames, like real ones, there is nothing in this post for you. Move along.

Dear Sega (and to a lesser note reviewers and America as a whole),

Do you hate yourself? Do you like failing? This is like the fourth time you have f-Ed up a sure thing this console generations. People like you! They want you to succeed, but if you keep sabotaging yourself then not even the next sonic rehash will save you. By the way I'm not mad about sonic, even though he was my favorite at a child I now realize that the character has always been terrible. I'm also not mad at the marvel movie games you have been putting out, I'm sure the cost of the movie license cut into the development budget and I don't care because super hero games are terrible and movie games are terrible so I'm pleasantly surprised that a movie licensed super hero gamecase even had a game inside it.

No what I am mad about is "Alpha Protocol: the espionage rpg" I was very interested in this game when it was announced, but the interest waned when it was delayed a week before scheduled release and I saw that Sega was publishing it.

The reviews were mostly "forget this broken POS" which actually made me more interested because videogame reviewers are very different from people who enjoy videogames.

Through a combination of discounts I finally got it at a price worth the risk and I must say: Alpha Protocol is the most delightful game I have played this console generation. I'm not gonna say i think it's better, but 5 hours in I am enjoying it more than Mass Effect 1/2 or Fallout which are games of similar style and much greater critical/commercial success. The game has a lot of jank in it but every game has jank, especially the ones that are trying something new. I read a lot of reviewers complaining about the combat, well A.) it's not splinter cell and B.) Spec your character right.

A. It's not Splinter Cell. They came up with an idea, then they came up with a story and then they fit a game around it. I am a discerning videogame player and I made my peace with that an hour into the game. "The combat doesn't feel responsive" well it's not supposed to be Quake, I assume crud goes wrong in Spy movies and the occasional jank in the combat actually kind of fits. Is it all intentional? No, but there is still enjoyment to be had from a gameplay perspective. Here's something fun, go play a Metal Gear Solid game.... how'd that play? Like it's half broken? Well you gotta put up with it if you want to play the game.

B. Spec your character right. I am not the most hardcore videogame player, especially in RPG's. I've actually never finished a non-American made one (including Zelda or any Final Fantasy). But even I know that trying to make a balenced character is a fools errand, at least the first time around. Gameplay doesn't take in to account an entire character's soul before determining the outcome of a situation, it gives you a couple paths and you need to max out what you need to succeed. In most games that means I max out Speech and Intelligence as soon as possible so I can get the best options, in this game it means I maximise the assualt rifle stats as soon as possible to better work with the weak combat system. If you are lopsided enough in one area a game usually isn't smart enough to exploit your weaknesses. Kind of like with women if you are good enough at one thing they will easily look past your faults (there were links in that sentence but they were deemed too gross to exist upon a second read through)

So I'm not sure who to blame the overall failure of Alpha Protocol on; Sega, who wouldn't know what to do with a hit game if it had one. Reviewers, for just jumping on the bandwagon. Or you, for not seeing this diamond in the rough and buying enough copies so I would get a sequel.

This game was purchased with Fable 3 and DragonAge Origins in a buy 2 get 1 free sale, I am afraid that I won't like them so I haven't played them yet.

EE Video Game Awards 2010!

Welcome game developers, players and girls pretending to be interested in games (the only games women be playing are MIND GAMES... and plants vs zombies). Since expedited emotions is equally committed to video games as SpikeTV we are proud to host such an important and relevant award show. With out any future interruption lets get on to the awards:

Game of the Year: Guitar Hero Warriors of Rock

No other game released in 2010 is as committed to existing as the 17th release of Guitar Hero. We here at expedited emotions polled every single person on the planet and not a single one of them wanted nor knew of this games existence. But it is on store shelves regardless, as if by sheer force of the games own will.

Game Player of the Year: Bean

What do we judge a gamer on? Well in Bean's case we judge them on how they manage the play style an emotions of their co-gamers. We just witnessed Bean tell his team that "they are not even good at this game" even after the team just one the match despite his 14 betrayals. His brief comments to the team undid all of the hard work that I put in when reading both versions of the Nativity story to them during the match.

I believe the function of any media is to inspire an emotional response, and when the game can not do this Bean steps up his game and runs his mouth to make it happen.

Reason to not Play Video Games in 2011: Me getting old and realizing all the life I have wasted.

At 27 years of age I have realized that my princess that my princess is in another castle. And that castle is not in a video game, an arcade, and definitely not in a Gamestop. My princess is out there living her life and doing things that matter while I'm sitting her still feeling sad about the failure of the Dreamcast. Oh well at least I never played World of Warcraft (I was in the pre-release beta back in 2003 but that doesn't count).

Here is a list of things that I should have been working on instead of video games:

1. Piano

2. Becoming an art thief

3. Running a marathon

4. Getting a degree that would be valuable in the job market

5. Developing a personality

Where is my WiiMote award for 2010: My Couch

I can't find it but I know its in there somewhere

Everyone who plays the following games can eat my poo:

Call of Duty: Black Ops

World of Warcraft

Any game facebook that's not scrabble

Red Dead Redemption

Sports Games

Wii Games that aren't made by Nintendo or don't have dancing or light gun-style arcade shooting

(this was going to be a longer post but I think the longer ones scare people away and who can compete with the random cat picture that SLEEPY CRICKET considers a contribution)

Thanks for tuning in to this years EE Video Game Awards, please come back next year as it will be our last before the whole end of the world thing that the movies told me was happening in 2012.

The SEGA DREAMCAST was ahead of its time

This post is very nerdy. Not in a Big Bang Theory "Aspergers are so cute" kind of way. But a "who the f cares about some stupid videogame system Charlie? It's posts like this that remind me why you are 27 years old and still living in your mother's basement. Another unrelated perception is that you seem to prowl for women at church events which makes me uncomfortable. I'm going to ignore you from now on and focus my attention on escapist entertainment like awful sitcoms where nerds ignore basic human functions for seasons at a time just to keep the forced star wars and physics jokes coming."-kind of way. Feel free to not read, this blog post will not be on the test.

Many believe that theSega Dreamcast was the final hardware failure from Sega before they came to their senses and became a software publisher for all game platforms. I think that is more accurate to say that the video game industry failed Sega and now they get this mutated half-beast joke of a video game publisher as a resort. Almost anything you enjoy about modern video game consoles and software was pioneered by Sega and mostly ignored by you. Since only 1 person is going to read beyond the title of this blog post I will get onto my reasons why

we as a human race failed the good people at Sega and are doomed to see everything we once loved be destroyed, Sega produced or otherwise.

1. We were too attached to the Electronic Arts of 1999.

I am completely with you that in 1999 Electronic Arts ran this industry on the strength of Madden alone. And the fact that they decided not to make their games for the Dreamcast was probably the killing strike towards

the system in terms of mainstream audiences. I am not a sports guy, but the SPORTS! 2K series was produced to fill the void and it did so fantastically. Most sports people rated them at least comparably to EA's stuff and many said they were a hell of a lot better. I'm sure telling a sports person to change games is like trying to get a junkie to service some other part of the body for drug money, but the switch was worth it. Especially worth it in the first year of the Dreamcast where the other options were on PS1/N64 and looked like ColecoVision by comparison.

If you are still reading, Mom, please take a moment to find your Playstation 1 and play a game... any game in it. How's that 320x240 resolution look? Unwatchable. Now come to my room and play the Dreamcast for a moment. Still looks pretty good right? Bringing me to my next point.

2. We had learned to love the terrible graphics on PS1/N64 games

I don't know if we were still thrilled to be playing 3D games, but the frame rate, resolution and blurriness of 99% of PS1/N64 games was inexcusable. If I were a game designer I would think that if I couldn't do something on a specific piece of hardware I wouldn't try... but that is sadly not the case. So when the Dreamcast came out and had the same types of games, only this time pretty to look at with decent frame rates, Joe America would say that he already had a pixelly version of that game and dismiss the system entirely.

I will concede that a lot of Dreamcast games were merely uprezed ports of PS1 games, but they were always the absolute best versions. Today every game that sells more than a dozen units has an ULTIMATE COLLECTORS EDITION. Well I consider every Dreamcast game to be the ONLY PLAYABLE VERSION, because it is actually a better version of the game most of my friends were playing.

3. Playstation 2 might come out sometime in the near future

I watch TV, and if you were to turn it on from the years of 1998 to pre9/11 the news would probably be talking about how awesome the PS2 is going to be/is. On top of that you had the DVD factor which I didn't even think would be as much of a thing as it was. But its annoying how every single conversation about the Dreamcast had to begin and end with PS2.

"Well it won't be out for a year or one store shelves for 2 years but the PS2 is going to totally blow the Dreamcast out of the water. Anyway I heard Crazy Taxi was pretty fun. PS2 is definitely going to be the thing that gets me a girlfriend, good grades and a free ride through life. Alright man see you on the bus, how many people have called you gay today? Only 7? That's an improvement."

-Paraphrasing every conversation my friends and I would have in high school

4. No one cares about arcade games

Ok here is one where Sega legitimately was on the wrong. They are an arcade company, so they have a lot of product that is based on people putting quarters in a machine. About this time arcades became irrelevant and the software for them didn't sell the Dreamcast like it sold the Genesis and that dozen Saturn systems that sold from the Grand Rapids KB Toys. Crazy Taxi is awesome but it was a tough value proposition of that game being 15 minutes of fun at a time compared with the 70 hours of depressing Final Fantasy for the same price.

That being said, if Sega gets their head out of their butt, they could use the casual game trend to make every dollar but making their arcade stuff easily available on iPhones and the like.

5. The Internet was a mythical beast in 1999

In 1999 no one knew what the Internet was. AOL was a legitimate thing to pay 21.99 a month for dial up access and people would sign multiple year commitments to an ISP for a cheap computer... actually that trend has just moved on to cellphones. The Sega Dreamcast could browse the Internet and a year in, play games over the included 56K modem. Yes 56K sucks but it was playable, Sega actually had decent networking in the games I tried and I didn't encounter too much lag despite using WebTV for dialup access. By the time online play/SegaNet kicked off the PS2 was out and the Dreamcast pretty much admitted defeat, but it is rarely acknowledged as the thing that really kicked off the whole console online gaming thing.

But back in 1999 I assume the general public were mainly using the Internet to keep their GeoCities updated while looking for nude codes for Tomb Raider (another game that looked much better on Dreamcast [although the ones that came out for it were terrible]).

So those are the 5 reasons I believe that we as a people failed the Dreamcast. I think in a couple years from now this will be clearly stated as humanity's greatest mistake. The destruction of the environment and various genocides that have taken place over the years will pale into comparison to the fact that we did not throw enough money at a mismanaged company's video game device.

Our grandchildren will be paying the cost of our video game purchasing transgressions.

YOU'RE IN THE MOVIES was ahead of its time

Older post: 50 Cent Blood in the Sand was ahead of its time

I think I am the only person who knows the following 2 secrets about videogames:

1. Call of Duty sucks

2. You're in the Movies is the most innovative game of the past 10 years

I could make a seperate blog dedicated to secret #1, but I think my time would be better served talking about fact #2.

This is You're in the Movies

You can get it right now using our Amazon banner ad for under 20 dollars WITH camera. Some would say the included camera is a piece of junk, but I think the camera knows what it is: A TOY. It is a toy camera used to make YOU'RE IN THE MOVIES the best group game of this console generation. Better than Rock Band, better than Halo X, better than 50 Cent Blood in the Sand.

This is You're in the Movies

Now imagine if I had friends and wasn't too lazy to get my fat circa 2007 butt off the couch. You do a bunch of awful wii like activities and it takes those movements out of context and makes them into a crummy little movie trailer. Theres like 30 trailers in the game AND if you feel like risking your xbox freezing you can even make your own trailer. Imagine the joy on your friends faces when the wii like games they have been playing for a half hour is turned into a video that you can blackmail them with. I haven't done it yet but I plan on committing a significant portion of my Christmas vacation to making it happen.

You're in the Movies is a buggy and kind of bad game, but it is one of my favorites for a couple of reasons.

1. It knows what it is- When you boot up You're in the Movies you are greeted with awful cinematic. This isn't winking at the audience awful, it is ZARDOZ awful. Fully commited to just going for it from the opening menu to the insanely long load times, to the terrible implementation of the game mechanics. I believe the great poet Popeye once said "I am what I am" and You're in the Movies gameonifies that statement.

2. It will put a smile on your face- No matter whether you are playing or watching, old or young, C-Minus or not C-Minus; You're in the Movies will put you in a better mood. That's what games are supposed to be about.

3. The price was reduced to 20 dollars within a month of it being released- As a video nerd I was interested in You're in the Movies as soon as I heard it was coming out. I then looked at the MSRP of 80 dollars and said gave them the ol' Will Smith but then I went to the store a week later and everyone had come to their senses and sold the game/camera at a loss for 20 dollars. And 20 dollars is what the price stayed at for 3 years.

4. Girls will enjoy it- This is more of an assumption because it does not require any skill. I haven't had a chance to test out this theory because women are either afraid of me or I have successfully made them believe that I am too mature and nonmolestery for videogames.

5. By playing it you will realize that motion gaming is a gimmick and not waste 150 dollars on the Kinnect- except for SLEEPY CRICKET because he is totally going to purchase one so I can play it. KINNECT PRO TIP: you need 6-8" of clear space in front of your TV to properly use the Kinnect, so unless you live in a warehouse or are batman it will not work in your game room.

Video Game Guides

The boys were back in town, we shot this in 20 minutes:

Random thoughts:

- Sloppy. I was going to put videogame footage in it and make it really weird but I didn't quite have enough actual video to hang it all on.

- SLEEPY CRICKET nor I had a handle on what we should be doing so we gave each part a shot and hoped for the best. You can see the worst of both of us; me trying to dominate every line because I don't know what the other person is going to do. The other one being too reserved and losing interest in what we are doing.

- The game BROTHER BEAR was playing at the time was Dead Rising 2. He saved what I thought was a wasted game so thanks for that.

- I hate videogame jokes and nerd humor. Also: Big Bang Theory sucks. Nerds are not cool they are nerds. I know because I have been one all my life and its annoying to see the 1-stereotype of a show being trumpeted while the multi-stereotype show I enjoy (Community) is struggling.

- Again I am out of focus on the couch, I really need to come up with a clearer system for locking in on stuff.

- SLEEPY CRICKET was going to edit this, it would have been much better if he had. The lack of actual content would give him room to play around. He had to drive back to where ever the heck he's living these days.

- If I didn't have my commitments to my church I think I would move in with him. I don't got much going on here that I couldn't try to do at medium distance. Especially with the recent advances in skype.

- Dead Rising 2 is the most frustrating game I'll ever love.

- Jon Purdy is the most frustrating man I will ever love.

I am losing interest in my interests

I am not feeling that funny at the moment which will be reflected in the boring and self-centered post below.

This is the first year I have felt like an actual adult. I feel this from the thinning of my hair to the problems with my back. I no longer look like a child in daddy's clothes when I put on a tie, and the definition in my face finally suits the glasses that I have worn since kindergarten. But as my body changes I see the things that I am interested also changing.

Things that I am losing interest in: Videogames

Where as in the past I could spend an entire weekend on a videogame, I now see myself losing interest within a half hour of playing. I look over at the binder I used when I was a senior in high school and there are more Sega Dreamcast logos and games in it than actual school work. I'm trying to think back whether I loved the system as much I loved loving the system. That passion is not inside of me anymore, even my infatuation with The Room was just a crush compared to my "oh no I got her pregnant I guess we'll try to make this work" that I had with the Dreamcast.

I remember I beat the game Shenmue within a week of buying it, I looked at the game clock and it turned out I had put in over 20 hours into the game in that week. This is with going to high school and working a part time job. This means that anytime I wasn't at school or work or handling my bodily needs I was playing that game. A couple years later I tried to replay it for old times sake and within a half hour I was all "F this S" and threw my Dreamcast back into storage. And its not that my tastes have evolved, because they haven't. The only thing I've learned in 10 years is heartbreak and that doesn't do much to raise your standards for excellence.

I'm staring at the intro movie for Dead Rising on Xbox, it's been playing for a while because I've been trying to make this thing readable. But also because I don't currently have the strength to start playing the game right now, partially because its a fustrating and broken peice of garbage that doesn't let you save your game... but also because I don't have the same kind of love that I used to for videogames.

Things that I am losing interest in: Making Videos

I enjoy making dumb videos, but I used to live for making dumb videos. I spent 2 years of my free time working on a crappy cartoon that everyone who saw it openly hated. My step brother said "I'm going to be sick, shut it off" when I tried to show him what I was working on. I got older, I got better and learned how to tell a story, but I lost that urge to produce. I still make videos, but especially with Sleepy Cricket gone I don't have the drive I used to. Where is this coming from? Is it just the aging process and me becoming a more diverse person? Or is it low reward to time involved ratio taking its toll on me?

And maybe I am losing interest in these things because I am realizing what a choad I was when I was into them. When I was playing videogames I was an elitist prick, especially when someone would start talking about Madden or Goldeneye or anything else that was popular and social within MY interest. Was my interest in making videos fueled by having it be a domain where I could be exclusionary? Partially... I don't know, I've had a rough week at work and maybe this isn't the best time for self reflection.

Things that I am losing interest in: People

I am not what we call a popular guy, especially when my head was up my behind in high school. In fact I would do anything for a real friend, I had school friends and work friends but barely any come over to your house and play friends. Slowly things started to fall into place and it was exciting, but now I'm usually too tired for them. I used to talk forever with my friends on the phone, pushing my phone's rate plan on occasion. Last month I was on my phone for 58 minutes, and if I looked into it most of that would be work or mother talk. My rollover minutes are in the thousands because usually when I get a call I ignore it then respond by text or facebook because I'm just too tired (or AT&T doesn't give me a signal because they are terrible). I say its tired now but on a well rested day it would be too something else; too busy, too lonely, too bored... I just don't have that desire that I used to for hanging out.

This might be also due to a lot of the people in my life getting either family'd up, career successful or just plain douchey. It seems like a switch was flipped in the summer of 2008 which cut out a lot of my friends list from people who I actually want to be friends with. But I've replaced them; replaced them with stronger, faster and better people; but the quality/amount of time I'm spending with them is no where near the amount I spent with their crappier predecessors.

I'm in a rut in a couple areas of my life, and maybe that is infecting my interests and passion for videogames, making videos and my friends. But I'm in a position where that rut is kind of untreatable at the moment so I will do as Dr. House says and "treat the symptoms, and go get me some vicodin." I plan on treating the symptoms by being purposeful about my free time; when I'm playing a game I'm going to try to invest myself in it and not stop till the game is completed. When I get off my couch and shoot a video, I'm not going to stop at "good enough" I'm going to stop when it's "great" and as for you and me dearest friend: We are going to be besties for the resties. Next time I try to weasel out of a play date you need to force yourself on me like me on an available female (20% kidding*).

Ok I'm done. My Xbox is making a lot of noise and I'm probably going to play Dead Rising for an hour before my character dies due to some glitch and I lose all my progress because the game has a terrible save system.

50 Cent: Blood on the Sand was ahead of its time

When historians look back at the young medium of electronic videogames, they will no doubt mention a few titles as breakthroughs in innovation for the artform. Super Mario Brothers, Final Fantasy, Bubsy 3D, World of Warcraft and Peggle will be mentioned as titles that pushed the boundaries of what society thought a videogame could be.

I believe 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand for Xbox 360/PS3 should be added to that list.

50 Cent: Blood on the Sand has a button dedicated to swearing or questioning your enemies sexual preferences.

This seems like a frivolous and mean spirited thing for a videogame to have, but think back to other games and how this feature would change the dynamics of the gameplay system. Imagine if the taunt button was available in earlier games.

In the game you only start with a limited amount of taunts, things that aren't any worse than something you would call your neighbor or mother such as the b-word or the b-word with an O sound thrown in the middle of it. As you progress through the game (it takes place in Iraq... more on that later) you find a lot of United States dollars which can be used to purchase language classes for 50 Cent and the rest of G-Unit and that gives them a more diverse pallet of words to choose from. Instead of being locked down to comparing your opponent to a shril or weak woman, you can compare them to a homosexual or use various racial slurs to degrade them.

The increasingly vulgar taunts give the player something to work towards, and this is on top of the

50 Cent: Blood on the Sand is epic in both story and setting.

I will now paste the game summary from Wikipedia. Beware: after reading this you will not be able to rest until you play and beat the game on all 3 difficulties.

The game is set in an urban warzone in an unnamed Middle Eastern country, where 50 Cent and G-Unit have been hired to play a rap concert. After the concert the promoter refuses to pay them the US $10-million in cash he promised, but relents after being threatened. However, instead of the cash they were promised, he gives them a diamond-and-pearl encrusted human skull as collateral. This is promptly stolen by a paramilitary group. 50 Cent (with the help of a selected G-Unit partner) decides to get it back at any cost.

So who in an urban warzone is taking time off from defending/attacking to go to a 50 Cent concert? Apparently enough people to be worth 50's 10 million dollar fee. Let's do some math:

10,000,000 (50's fee, not including G-Unit's fee, stage, lighting, security, or promotional costs) / 150 (a generous average cost per ticket)= 66,666.7. So to break even on 50 Cent's promised payment 66,667 people need to attend one concert in an URBAN WARZONE.

The story goes on from there, your mission is to go from point A to point B killing anyone who isn't a member of G-Unit. You will fight multiple helicopters. You will be betrayed in every single level by the person who sent you on the mission in the first place.

It's thrilling and ripped form the headlines.

Soundtrack is 100% 50 Cent and G-Unit songs.

Only a videogame executive producer like 50 Cent could secure the highly sought after rapper 50 Cent to provide background music for 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand. Your main character (50 Cent) can use the United States currency that he finds in 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand (currency that is not already spent on additional taunts) to buy additional tracks such as:

In Da Club

That less notable song that sounds like In Da Club

AND MORE

If only the creators of The Legend of Zelda would have had the foresight to include generic club rap in their game maybe 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand would only be the greatest game of 2009 instead of the greatest game of all time.

Other amazing features:

Unreal Engine! (so it looks like every other game that looks like Gears of War)

Plays like Gears of War! (so it plays like every other game using the Unreal Engine)

Co-Operative Online Multiplayer! (hope you are ready for some great discussions about world events and human rights because these gamers LOVE to debate)

THE HIT SONG "IN DA CLUB"

50 Cent: Blood on the Sand did not meet the sales expectations that were set by its publisher, and that is a shame because I believe the videogame industry needs to have a spot for subtle games that make the gamer as questions like, "Why are we sending our young people to die for a cause they don't believe in?" and "Who let these hoe's in my room?" Despite Roger Ebert's claims otherwise, I feel that videogames are an art form and there is no better example of that art form than 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand.

A Video Review of 50 Cent: Blood On the Sand from GiantBomb.com