Don't tread on old guys.

Here follows an actual (paraphrased) conversation I over heard at the gym from two old dudes on the ellipticals next to me:


Old Guy nearest to me (OG1): So I heard about Dave. Must have been one of those freak accidents or something.
Old Guy next to him (OG2): Yup.
OG1: A real shame. He never saw it coming. No one did.
OG2: Mm-hm.
OG1: It's really gonna change the game.
OG2: He was the best in shuffleboard.
OG1: Oh yeah. This year will be wide open.
OG2: (Dick Cheney-ish laugh) Weren't you number two last year?
OG1: Why yes, in fact, I was. Wonder what I'll place this year.
OG2: I wonder.
OG1: (Wheezy laugh-turned cough.)


I looked forward the entire time.

Me vs. An Old Guy: Part 1

This New Year I decided to redouble my efforts at weight loss, and gaining a healthier body. I made that solemn pack with the devil know as a “Gym Membership” for the first time in my life. Being the cheap-ass I am, I looked for the cheapest place possible in town. This happens to be located inside a senior community center, where 85% of the gym-goers are 60 and over. I figured this would be less intimidating anyway, since old people are far less likely to point and laugh at you in slow motion.

During my first visit to the gym, I saw that it was sectioned off with one part open area, one part machines, and one part free-weights. The part with the machines was full of people, and since I don’t know enough Yoga to pretend to work out in the open area, I went into the free-weight section. I started doing all the basic exercises there and was feeling okay about it. Then An Old Guy came in and started doing similar exercises on the next bench.

I immediately felt challenged.

Even though he was using smaller weights, had started later, and had probably done this more times than I have, I felt that I HAD to go longer than him simply because I was younger.

I lifted and extended and curled and pressed and punched and cried and just when I thought I had to stop for sure, the old fella finished and walked into the other section.

ViCtOrY!~!

I saw the defeat in his eyes and more importantly I knew that his presence made me do more than I would have otherwise, and I was grateful.

The next day, when I woke up to stiffness and shooting pangs, I was not.