I don't know if I posted this yet, found it in my documents folder from 2 summers ago.
SCRIPT START:
SLICE
Scene 1: Creature is Born
1: (peering in microwave) Its not gonna make it
2: it's gonna make it
(Microwave dings)
1: extracting
2: it's... Beautiful
1: it's losing zest, condiment counter!
3: coming (with tray of condiments)
2: easy we don't know how this hybrid will react to standard spices
1: I'm not going to just sit here and watch it get stale. Ranch dressing.
3: ranch dressing (handing over ranch dressing in a professional manner)
2: why ranch dressing?
1: because ranch goes with everything. Are you gonna second guess my prep work or are we gonna save this thing?
3: it's starting to bubble and steam!
1: that means it's working! I think we might just be able to make a meal out of this yet.
(takes meal from plate to styrofoam container showing food for first time)
3: I think we’ve gone too far
2: I DON’T THINK WE WENT TOO FAR ENOUGH
3: so what do we do now?
1: now we wait. (shuts styrofoam container to reveal "SLICE")
Things get presented, go wrong, Creature gets moved
(conference room)
Manager: You two need to tell me what you’re presenting before we go in there.
1: That’s not how we cook manager, you know that!
Manager: Listen you guys are the best, you know it. I know it. The food business is a business.
2: We are the best because we don’t see it as a business. We see it as an art form.
Manager: An artform that needs to be funded to continue to operate… listen just tell me what we are selling here (interrupted by CEO coming in)
(manager stands to greet, 1+2 stay seated)
CEO: Sit. (manager sits) Good boy. (takes seat at table) What do we got.
1: We have the future of food.
2: Whats your top two favorite drunk foods.
CEO: Excuse me..
Manager: Guys… they are just joking.
2: Two favorite foods to eat when you are drunk, what are they?
CEO: I went to business school in…
1: And when you used to binge drink at business schoool what did you want to eat?
CEO: … I don’t like where this is going but it would have to be either pizza rolls or a hot pocket.
2: and what if we said you no longer have to choose?
CEO: I … tell me more.
1: (brings out Styrofoam container and opens it) This is doof. A hybrid food which is a cross between hot pocket/pizza rolls and other elements that are still being tested.
CEO: It looks delicious, but so much saturated fat. …. I fear you may have gone too far with this creation.
2: I FEAR WE HAVEN”T GONE TOO FAR ENOUGH!
Manager: what they mean is…
1: Shove it manager here’s what we mean… we are making this food product, you can either shut us down or get on board. (shuts Styrofoam container revealing the title slice)
(cut to outside conference room, 1+2 waiting outside)
Manager: Well pack up your snacks because they just shut down our food science lab
1: What?! After everything we’ve done for the food business?
2: Forget her and forget this food business, there’s a million other food businesses who would want to go into the food business with us.
1: We could move the food hybrid into my parents old food test lab.
2: But you have issues with your parents!
1: In the name of food science I will face those issues
(moving into second kitchen)
(1 setting random stuff down, 2 opening Styrofoam slice container to gaze lovingly at food hybrid)
1: (joining 2 in looking at the food product) How long are we going to see this through?
2: All the way. (1 puts 2 in his arms) You thinking what I’m thinking?
1: It’s been a long time. (closes Styrofoam container and turns around in 2’s arms to face him)
2: Too long (faces get closer as if to kiss but look off to the left to see fast food bag)
(switching from sensual voice to excited child like voice) AW YOU GOT TACO BELL?! AWESOME!
(montage of increasingly close zoomed in the creepier looking shots of 1 and 2 eating, during this Styrofoam container containing hybrid opens and camera pans to show hybrid watching 1 and 2)
(1 or 2 thinks they see the hybrid getting closer but they are too into eating to do anything about it, finally they get startled and hybrid is back in it’s box)
(fade to black)
Remaining plot points to hit:
-Scientist get too attached to creature, decide to kill it
-Creature kills one, gets devoured by other
-Food Baby, setup for sequel
Sep 28, 2011
Sep 21, 2011
Datable Diary 3
There is that hump where you just think everything sucks and you just want to delete it and break your camera so you can't make this mess again.
Tonight I passed that point and it feels good. I reach that point with everything I do, work, my dog, all my extracurriculars.... But I think I am better than most at powering through and just getting it done. J's big thing was to put as many sound effects as possible into it. I still don't know if I like that idea but it seems to make it move faster. I am opposed to anything outside of what's on the camera because I'm the one responsible for putting in all that frilly crud and I usually am just SWAGing on how to do it. J gets excited when he uses iMovie because of all the transitions and filters until I remind him for the millionth time that this version of iMovie (2007, act like you know) isn't compatible with the current version of Mac os so that's one of the many features that glitch out.
As of right now with time set aside for credits we are at 9:15, longer than I wanted the awful things to say and j wanted his montages. I really wish we would have had time to shoot something/anything for an intro, as there were 3 pages written out for it and what we have now could really use a lead in. I'm thinking freeze frame/bullet points right now until I think of something lazier to try.
Tonight I passed that point and it feels good. I reach that point with everything I do, work, my dog, all my extracurriculars.... But I think I am better than most at powering through and just getting it done. J's big thing was to put as many sound effects as possible into it. I still don't know if I like that idea but it seems to make it move faster. I am opposed to anything outside of what's on the camera because I'm the one responsible for putting in all that frilly crud and I usually am just SWAGing on how to do it. J gets excited when he uses iMovie because of all the transitions and filters until I remind him for the millionth time that this version of iMovie (2007, act like you know) isn't compatible with the current version of Mac os so that's one of the many features that glitch out.
As of right now with time set aside for credits we are at 9:15, longer than I wanted the awful things to say and j wanted his montages. I really wish we would have had time to shoot something/anything for an intro, as there were 3 pages written out for it and what we have now could really use a lead in. I'm thinking freeze frame/bullet points right now until I think of something lazier to try.
Sep 18, 2011
Dateable Diary #2
Editing is in progress, it's going ok. You don't realize what you should have shot until you don't have it. And yet we persevere. Definitely coming in under 10 minutes, hopefully under 7 after we trim some more. J is taking a sound effect/music pass, making some decisions that I don't quite agree with but it's not just my project (I'll wait till he leaves and undo his work).
I should have provided our actors and camera operators what I was looking for more clearly. But they did fine and the final product will hopefully reflect that.
Every video I've made I wish I would be able to capture every major hand body movement in close up to cut against. And every video I forget and either have it look like poorly edited garbage or try to recreate the shots during editing and have it look like fake garbage.
Watching Thor, a movie that succeeds despite piles of bad decisions made while producing it. The tone is very weird and the movies scope is intentionally small to just be a preamble for the Avengers. If this video succeeds then I have hooks built into to lead it into the next one, or even a previous one. But it will stand on it's own, if it stands at all, or if anyone can stand it.
J and I saw Drive today, a movie that would be under 20 minutes long if you cut out the tension or mood building moments. I sassed that there is more dead space in this movie than in every Michael bay movie combined, but it's not dead space, it is time and effort spent building characters and relationships. It is a risk, one that I and the rest of the Internet video kids can't afford.
Anyway J is reviewing music/sleeping. I will continue with Thor and listening to the even drunker WMU students celebrate a victory they had nothing to do with.
I should have provided our actors and camera operators what I was looking for more clearly. But they did fine and the final product will hopefully reflect that.
Every video I've made I wish I would be able to capture every major hand body movement in close up to cut against. And every video I forget and either have it look like poorly edited garbage or try to recreate the shots during editing and have it look like fake garbage.
Watching Thor, a movie that succeeds despite piles of bad decisions made while producing it. The tone is very weird and the movies scope is intentionally small to just be a preamble for the Avengers. If this video succeeds then I have hooks built into to lead it into the next one, or even a previous one. But it will stand on it's own, if it stands at all, or if anyone can stand it.
J and I saw Drive today, a movie that would be under 20 minutes long if you cut out the tension or mood building moments. I sassed that there is more dead space in this movie than in every Michael bay movie combined, but it's not dead space, it is time and effort spent building characters and relationships. It is a risk, one that I and the rest of the Internet video kids can't afford.
Anyway J is reviewing music/sleeping. I will continue with Thor and listening to the even drunker WMU students celebrate a victory they had nothing to do with.
Sep 14, 2011
Dateable Diary #1
Ugh why doesn't the blogger app hav a landscape mode!?! Other than that it's perfect, but that's a big thing to not have.
Anyway. Dateable happend as part of "films with friends" a rededication of my video making efforts. It stars people who are not me which is a very d'être ing change,
I'm doing first edit now, just over 2 hours of forage from 2 cameras. I will speak about the sections I "finish" and leave out script details so we can all be surprised in how disappointed we are.
I had about 1.5 ideas for the visual look of this and one of them is upfront. I don't actually get ideas myself, just find new things to rip off. And in this opening we are ripping off a "how to use a monopod" segment from vimeo.com. It was rough looking while shooting but I like how the idea turned out.
This was the first thing we shot with Our actress and i think that worked out because the quick takes and running around of her comfortable. It also gave her a moment to take in where the video is being shot and get a visual on her costar without being thrown into his arms immediately.
I spiced in a couple shots of our actor but I think I'm going to cut them out. Right now this segment is just under a minute and I am going to need much time as possible later for jokes to cover up the fact the whole video takes place in one room. Also having out actor talked about but not seen or heard kind of ups the ante on what kind of stud/douche he's gonna be.
This segment leads directly into the conversation that will take up the rest of the movie. The first line from out actor feels like it takes forever to spit out, it makes me dread editing the rest of it because my goal to keep this thing moving and all I have is singles and the occasional movement worth showing to an audience. Oh well we will find it.
As of right now my goal for this video is to be 7-8 minutes, I would be ecstatic if I could fit everything good and tell a complete story in 5 or less, but I don't think it's going happen.
I'm done, thanks to my director of photography totally not seeing my head in the reflection of an otherwise excellent shot. I would have made the same mistake, I'm sure it'll get a laugh, and that's one more than the dialogue will get.
Anyway. Dateable happend as part of "films with friends" a rededication of my video making efforts. It stars people who are not me which is a very d'être ing change,
I'm doing first edit now, just over 2 hours of forage from 2 cameras. I will speak about the sections I "finish" and leave out script details so we can all be surprised in how disappointed we are.
I had about 1.5 ideas for the visual look of this and one of them is upfront. I don't actually get ideas myself, just find new things to rip off. And in this opening we are ripping off a "how to use a monopod" segment from vimeo.com. It was rough looking while shooting but I like how the idea turned out.
This was the first thing we shot with Our actress and i think that worked out because the quick takes and running around of her comfortable. It also gave her a moment to take in where the video is being shot and get a visual on her costar without being thrown into his arms immediately.
I spiced in a couple shots of our actor but I think I'm going to cut them out. Right now this segment is just under a minute and I am going to need much time as possible later for jokes to cover up the fact the whole video takes place in one room. Also having out actor talked about but not seen or heard kind of ups the ante on what kind of stud/douche he's gonna be.
This segment leads directly into the conversation that will take up the rest of the movie. The first line from out actor feels like it takes forever to spit out, it makes me dread editing the rest of it because my goal to keep this thing moving and all I have is singles and the occasional movement worth showing to an audience. Oh well we will find it.
As of right now my goal for this video is to be 7-8 minutes, I would be ecstatic if I could fit everything good and tell a complete story in 5 or less, but I don't think it's going happen.
I'm done, thanks to my director of photography totally not seeing my head in the reflection of an otherwise excellent shot. I would have made the same mistake, I'm sure it'll get a laugh, and that's one more than the dialogue will get.
Sep 13, 2011
Saw 7/3D/FinalChapter/see you for the reboot!
Yay Netflix updated! I feel like Netflix has been getting slowed down by the jealous studios.
But until they come to an agreement I have the Saw finale (maybe for 3 years at most) and you have this live blog.
We have our hero(?) from the very first movie, I first liked then hated the retconning of additional plot in previous movies. Our Dr hero is noticably ten years older despite this taking place during the first movie.
The digital video they film these with is disgusting, even without the film content.
Dream sequences and nonstop traps in first 15 minutes, smart move. Also the movie is very bright, probably due to the 3D glasses they expected people to wear.
Sean Patrick Flannery (SPF)! Why didn't this guy get famous in the 90's. The most 90's dude I ever saw. He's faking being a jigsaw survivor, I doubt he'll be faking it for long. Looking bloated but he's probably past 40 so looking k.
So they are just making up jigsaw victims and flashing back to stuff from nonexistent flashbacks.
I doubt these movies pay well, and I'm sure you have to scrub pretty hard to get it off a resume. So many Canadian haircuts and accents!
SPF is nabbed! Just when I thought I was safe! There's a new cop in this one, hopefully he can catch the personality-less jigsaw helper by the time this franchise is over. The jigsaw helper escaped his trap nicely at the opening of the movie, much like the dude from Gilmore girls did 3 movies ago.
Live or die SPF, make your choice. Maybe he did this movie to motivate the studio to do another boondocks saints. Oh good, another flashback! Now showing us why/how SPF faked the jigsaw trap. He's got a bowl cut so I'll assume the flashback is from 1997 grunge or 2009 beiber fever struck the nation.
New cop has Canadian new York accent. "I knew you were crazy when I first laid eyes on you. Crazy." Sounds like the cop from heavy rain.
They should just start filming the saw reboot now in the entire east side of Michigan. I think the mood and broken down factories are already in place for it. How much money/time does jigsaw/new jigsaw have for these traps?
Why is jigsaw punishing his real former victim wife? Is it due to her being complicit in his lie? Is it because new jigsaw has no moral code? Oh speak of devil here is flashback of real jigsaw. That's what we call a meet cute!
Darn it movie no one cares about the bad cop procedural!
Jigsaw needs to provide operator instruction sheets and get signatures before starting a game. If consistent work isn't being followed then how can you expect a consistent product?
I have now caged my dog in front of the tv to calm him down for bed. I am the jigsaw to his soon to be dead students.
Flashback to cop vs new jigsaw grudge? Oh... Not yet, just some detective work. I converted a m4v to wmv at work today without installing any new software, now that's detective work.
The next jigsaw game is what I'm playing with youth group next week. Hopefully with fewer casualties.
I can't tell if my alarm is going off upstairs or the soundtrack has added a new terrible layer.
I love stuff only shot for 3D in 2D, like Thors hammer coming at the screen, or in this cases key falling out of a potential survivors hand.
Here's that cop/jigsaw flashback!
Movie 67% over with. I've went to Facebook, I fear a friend with a new profile pic is pregnant, I'm pretty good at telling women when they are pregnant. I think I even knew when my mon got pregnant before she did. I think I get this trait from my father because he took off running as soon as he got a whiff of me.
SPF is ripping out his teeth to get a locker combination, if I was jigsaw old just have the locker short locked.
The cop left the scene of the game to probably get himself killed or trapped alone somewhere. SPF got electric fenced and the dog and I jumped. I love how the wife is too mad at SPF to follow her natural survival instincts.
I love fake Hollywood abs. Also dumb cop looks like my boss. Also jigsaw did a variation of the twist theyve done since first saw. Also jigsaw killed cop with auto turret, with an amazing death fall from cop realizing he'll never act in this town again.
New jigsaw just killed every cop in town. SPF is going through with the trap he faked while his wife screams "you can do it!". Now that I see trap he could easily have done it without the injury. When jigsaw comes for me I think I'll be k.
Oh fake run from jigsaw! You can do it old jigsaws fake wife! I'm rooting for you... Wait am I rooting for her? New jigsaw walks, kills and talks like fat terminator.
SPF wife caught in some stove after he fails. New jigsaw takes forever fighting wife after killing every cop in hand to hand combat. But she's gone with the cheesey routine catchphrase "game over."
But new jigsaw is taken out by Carey Elwes from Saw 1 who was his secret accomplice despite not being in Saw 2-6. GAME OVER #2. IM OUT!
But until they come to an agreement I have the Saw finale (maybe for 3 years at most) and you have this live blog.
We have our hero(?) from the very first movie, I first liked then hated the retconning of additional plot in previous movies. Our Dr hero is noticably ten years older despite this taking place during the first movie.
The digital video they film these with is disgusting, even without the film content.
Dream sequences and nonstop traps in first 15 minutes, smart move. Also the movie is very bright, probably due to the 3D glasses they expected people to wear.
Sean Patrick Flannery (SPF)! Why didn't this guy get famous in the 90's. The most 90's dude I ever saw. He's faking being a jigsaw survivor, I doubt he'll be faking it for long. Looking bloated but he's probably past 40 so looking k.
So they are just making up jigsaw victims and flashing back to stuff from nonexistent flashbacks.
I doubt these movies pay well, and I'm sure you have to scrub pretty hard to get it off a resume. So many Canadian haircuts and accents!
SPF is nabbed! Just when I thought I was safe! There's a new cop in this one, hopefully he can catch the personality-less jigsaw helper by the time this franchise is over. The jigsaw helper escaped his trap nicely at the opening of the movie, much like the dude from Gilmore girls did 3 movies ago.
Live or die SPF, make your choice. Maybe he did this movie to motivate the studio to do another boondocks saints. Oh good, another flashback! Now showing us why/how SPF faked the jigsaw trap. He's got a bowl cut so I'll assume the flashback is from 1997 grunge or 2009 beiber fever struck the nation.
New cop has Canadian new York accent. "I knew you were crazy when I first laid eyes on you. Crazy." Sounds like the cop from heavy rain.
They should just start filming the saw reboot now in the entire east side of Michigan. I think the mood and broken down factories are already in place for it. How much money/time does jigsaw/new jigsaw have for these traps?
Why is jigsaw punishing his real former victim wife? Is it due to her being complicit in his lie? Is it because new jigsaw has no moral code? Oh speak of devil here is flashback of real jigsaw. That's what we call a meet cute!
Darn it movie no one cares about the bad cop procedural!
Jigsaw needs to provide operator instruction sheets and get signatures before starting a game. If consistent work isn't being followed then how can you expect a consistent product?
I have now caged my dog in front of the tv to calm him down for bed. I am the jigsaw to his soon to be dead students.
Flashback to cop vs new jigsaw grudge? Oh... Not yet, just some detective work. I converted a m4v to wmv at work today without installing any new software, now that's detective work.
The next jigsaw game is what I'm playing with youth group next week. Hopefully with fewer casualties.
I can't tell if my alarm is going off upstairs or the soundtrack has added a new terrible layer.
I love stuff only shot for 3D in 2D, like Thors hammer coming at the screen, or in this cases key falling out of a potential survivors hand.
Here's that cop/jigsaw flashback!
Movie 67% over with. I've went to Facebook, I fear a friend with a new profile pic is pregnant, I'm pretty good at telling women when they are pregnant. I think I even knew when my mon got pregnant before she did. I think I get this trait from my father because he took off running as soon as he got a whiff of me.
SPF is ripping out his teeth to get a locker combination, if I was jigsaw old just have the locker short locked.
The cop left the scene of the game to probably get himself killed or trapped alone somewhere. SPF got electric fenced and the dog and I jumped. I love how the wife is too mad at SPF to follow her natural survival instincts.
I love fake Hollywood abs. Also dumb cop looks like my boss. Also jigsaw did a variation of the twist theyve done since first saw. Also jigsaw killed cop with auto turret, with an amazing death fall from cop realizing he'll never act in this town again.
New jigsaw just killed every cop in town. SPF is going through with the trap he faked while his wife screams "you can do it!". Now that I see trap he could easily have done it without the injury. When jigsaw comes for me I think I'll be k.
Oh fake run from jigsaw! You can do it old jigsaws fake wife! I'm rooting for you... Wait am I rooting for her? New jigsaw walks, kills and talks like fat terminator.
SPF wife caught in some stove after he fails. New jigsaw takes forever fighting wife after killing every cop in hand to hand combat. But she's gone with the cheesey routine catchphrase "game over."
But new jigsaw is taken out by Carey Elwes from Saw 1 who was his secret accomplice despite not being in Saw 2-6. GAME OVER #2. IM OUT!
Sep 9, 2011
I am writing this from the toilet
There is finally a first party blogger app for the iPhone. Hopefully this will inspire me to write more often and more concisely. I'm debating giving up my iPhone plan next month. My contract is up and now I have a work phone... TBD. Idk what I will do without a constant Internet connection and that kind of excites me. I would probably keep this on me as wifi is in 90% of my stomping grounds.
With this relaunch of the blog, expect a lot less jokes... I just don't got it in me lately.
With this relaunch of the blog, expect a lot less jokes... I just don't got it in me lately.
Sep 8, 2011
Sleep!
I need it, I will never have enough of it. I have been especially loud and disruptive at sleep lately. This may be due to half my body wanting to get up and play, and the other half would like the icy grip of death to rock me gently to eternal slumber. I have a dog now and he's a pretty good sleeping buddy when he's in the mood. Although when what's her face gets home he loses his mind and ruins everything.
I could go on but it's 11:21 and sadly I must work tomorrow. I have a 1 hour commute, I can't even sleep during it!
I could go on but it's 11:21 and sadly I must work tomorrow. I have a 1 hour commute, I can't even sleep during it!
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