Dear Wendys

Good Afternoon,

I went to the Sprinkle Rd, Wendy's and feel like I should tell you about my experiences. I pulled into the drive thru, there wasn't anyone else in line so i figured this would be an easy order. Despite being the only person in line I was told to wait, after 2-3 minutes I asked if they were ready for my order. I was told to wait one more minute then with a sigh they took my order which I repeated twice (#1 combo with a diet Pepsi, large chocolate frosty and an additional medium fry).

As I pulled into the order window I was given my drink and frosty and told to have a nice day. I reminded them that I was waiting on food. A bag containing my sandiwhich came out and I was told to have a nice day. I checked the bag seeing only my sandiwhich and mentioned I was waiting on fries (from the combo and the additional medium). I was told to pull in front which I did. After 2-3 minutes of waiting I went in the restaurant, was explained that fries took time (no one was line), I was hastily given a single container of fries and told to have a nice day. Trying to keep my composure I mentioned that I purchased two, I was told in an angry tone that they knew what I ordered and it was given. At that point it was either loose My temper over fries or leave with unresolved anger about my experiences at your restaurant.

I left angry but feel I am not the only who is upset about Wendy's service. As a corrective action I believe that this location could use a follow up on the standard work that is involved operating a restaurant.

Please do not hesitate to contact me f you have any additional questions or feedback about this complaint.

Thanks,

Charlie

Titus, an award winning short film

I've been meaning to do a write up on our 48 hour film festival entry for a while now... I'm really not the man to do it, but I'm the only one with a blog so here goes:

Titus.

This music came from a public domain angel that I found about an hour before the movie was due. I really wish J would give me a version of the final product without a sound mix so I could clean it up and insert some proper transitions, but I don't think it will be happening. Also the wind was the worst... Really annoying.

We were assigned the theme of historical epic; which is definitely out of our wheelhouse, but I think that helped us differentiate ourselves and keep this thing from turning into date able 2. The idea for this was all Fill and I had no idea about it until we looked into it for the movie. I did write most of the script quietly while the rest dealt with medical issues and going on tangents. Thankfully we didn't stick super close to it in the actual shoot, and got even further away from it in our editing.

I am glad J edited this and he did a fantastic job considering he didn't know how to use the software and rushed it. My one contribution was telling him repeatedly to cut up the court stuff and split it up through the movie. It looked cool but we didn't have a scene, we had 5 halves of different scenes; splitting it up covered it well. Although my suggestion was to split it up through out the whole movie, just just the Bronson stuff.

I thought the acting was fine; I pushed a little too hard to play the title character because I knew Bro was going to play himself and dominate the whole thing no matter what he did, he made the movie interesting while I think I kept it coherent. I was very pleased on how everyone else handled there part, although I wish there would have been more for J to do.

That's all I got. Good show and the first award I've ever received for this sort of thing.

Dateable 8:00-FINISHED WITH THE FRIGGIN' ANALYSIS.

7:59-8:05 Just when the audience thinks they are done. The story train made it to its destination but the writerrorist called in a bomb threat to delay them. I do like the hand shots, all J... all J. It was my idea to reuse the clock sound though.

8:05-8:11 Our actress was adamant about using a line about rotting eggs, I did her a favor and cut it.

8:11-8:43 And I give the people what they want by spontaneously appearing in the movie. I don't know if I prompted anyone the first time I threw myself into it but they were dying out there. Doubt I helped but gave our actor a reason to leave our actress alone and rejected for the last time.

I like how our actors idea of improv is "yeah." It was a long shoot and I think we were all eager to get home. An alternate ending was that MY GIRLFRIEND and dog arrived during one of the takes of him leaving, it was so awkward that I really wanted to use it, but she is afraid of being on camera (probably a vampire) and I didn't feel like having a fight over this dumb movie.

And that is that with Dateable, as of 10/25 @ 9:48 we have 1010 views... a shockingly high number for a 10 minute movie with one location and no nudity. I will now try to forget this video ever existed and move on to the next one. I sincerely appreciate everyone who was involved with this; in presence or in spirit. I apologize if I was harsh on your filming, acting, or personality; but this was a long video and I ran out of things to type about.

Dateable explanation 5:37-7:59

5:37-5;45 J was quite pleased with the businessy public domain music he found for this.

5:46-6:02 This was supposed to be very early on in the video but I think it works better here. I had to do a zoom in to avoid the counter top that didn't have food on it. It sort of work.

6:10 -6:20 Everyone was quite shocked that our actor had that much cash on him. I think he is a drug dealer.

6:21-6:25 We then transition from Jason's musical montage to mine. I think it worked well. That flower in a glass ball has special significance to MY GIRLFRIEND, she was not pleased.

6:26-6:47 Common sense, and common sense's nemesis J both said get this part out of there, but this thing is already way too long so I kept it. It gives our actress a brief moment of not being crapped on and it makes the next part at least have a little bit of impact.

6:48-7:00 This whole dialogue is a bit nails on the chalkboard because it should have been rewritten for them.... its just too shrill coming out of these two. But we move on.

7:01-7:27 Writing out these timestamps makes me realize how long all of this is taking. I need to go through this video with a pair of garden sheers and get it down to 5 minutes. The phone image took a while to get because my dog kept running over to see what was going on.

7:28-7:48 Again we hit dialogue that our actors can't pull off.... and the awkwardness of movement, bad direction and lack of planning. That's what we are about here at films with friends.

7:49-7:59 And here we set up a possible sequel that no one really wants. With our actor's hand on the door knob, is this date/video finally over?

NOPE. BACK LATER WITH THE FINAL TWIST ENDING!

Dateable 3:06-5:37 Analysis

3:06-3:33 And here is where the video becomes unfacebookable. And its another one where I think someone else could have handled the line better. But it exists and it proves that this person is unredeemable and not just autistic.

3:34-3:43 Then we go back to them pretty much existing in two separate little movies. Not listening to each other by either choice or nervousness.

3:44-4:16 When Dateable was going to be made 9 months ago, we were going to have the actress play a song or something. As cast members change the plot and tone change. I think this works too.

4:17-4:58 Some vaudeville for the audience. Lines I came up with on the fly I believe. I don't think they would have worked without a 4th wall break. I think if this were two have a laugh track this is the only time it would play. We used the song from that terrible TV show. Charlie Sheen rest in peace.

4:59-5:28 I really should have figured something out for these instructions. Close to two minutes of this movie is our actress reading from the script. Maybe I'll give this to J to re-do now that he is trying to be an editor.

5:29-5:37 We had shot our actor asking the actress if she farted/worse, but I couldn't do that to her so I put this in from the beginning of the shoot. Doesn't quite make sense but transitions well to our music video.

Analysis of minute 1 through 3 of Dateable.

1:00-1:05 A last minute transition that I shot a couple days later. Kind of guessed on what time would be most inappropriate for our actor to show up. J found the sound clip which I decided to reuse towards the end of this.

1:05-1:08 One of the many lines that would have been funny coming from someone else. Awkward dialogue is not our actors strong suit, and yet I continue to make him say it.

1:08-1:20 Again there is nothing really funny on this line, just showing how unprepared she is for this date.

1:20-1:45 25 seconds to eat 1 funion. Well worth it.

1:45-1:47 Ripped this transition off one of J's projects that he did before we were friends.

1:47-1:58 Late title. I love late titles.

1:58-2:07 My hand, my gut was also in this but I zoomed in.

2:07-2:23 I originally wanted the film to cut to a cheesy infomercial with this dialogue for the instructions. I got lazy and ended up having our actress read them straight from the script. Its one of those things that I tell myself that I will fix on the remix but I seriously will never work on this video again.

2:23-2:48 That picture of J is the whittling down of about 4 pages of script in the unshod prologue. He also cut most of himself out of the latest thing we did for a 48 hour film festival. Future projects may evolve into a "Where's Waldo" style search for his presence.

2:48-3:00 Funions #2! J put these parts together and I was afraid he was going to spend another 30 seconds on it, but he really made the right call and gave us a concise but funny version of what happened before.

Alright that's it for now, I'm sure the Internet is dying to hear my thoughts on minutes 3-9 so I'll be overanalyzing them soon.

Analysis of the first minute of Dateable.

I usually will give an internet video about a minute to entertain me before I stop watching... thought it would be interesting to review Dateable based on the first minute of movie. If this wasn't my work I probably would click off it, which says more about my internet usage than the quality of the video.

:03- "Oh you are just getting right into it" That's right we are, there was 3 or so pages of setup for this thing that we just didn't have the shooting time or viewing time to work in. So it doesn't exist, and I think this is for the best. We are just cutting right into the awkwardness and the viewer can try to figure out with the actress what is happening.

:07- The terrible tone becomes apparent, all J's idea and it works for me. I showed one batch of friends and the sound made one of them visibly uncomfortable. As long as they are feeling something I will take it.

:31- The skinny trick is something I saw on vimeo.com video tutorials the night or so before shooting. Turned out ok even though I didn't properly explain it to anyone involved. And yes I know my head is reflected in the microwave.

:40- Actor appears. It would have had more of an impact if I didn't briefly cut to him knocking, but I needed that shot for transitions sake.

:48- The actresses line seemed a lot better in my head than it sounded spoken. I think if this situation happened in real life the woman would have asked him to leave, but I guess maybe a back story for this would be that she has experienced so many crappy guys/loneliness that she still might try to make the best of it.

52: Actor sounds like he is asking a question instead of telling her how it is, also I don't think I gave him specific instructions on what he should be looking at.

59: This line was only used as a transition, I thought about cutting to someone creepy in my parking lot, or a shot of me doing something creepy to lead up to my last minute addition to the movie.

Transcription test!

Okay Giorgio I Ayachit violence on my Canadian got a mind or what I say I'm sorry this my third time trying to get a app for the iPhone that dictates what you say I'm hoping that so give me something do on my hour-long drives to work and back and I can do some updates for blog maybe I can write my congressman or talk to Congressman Arnold but it's a test. I wonder how many mistakes transfer I spoke to Melissa wonder how that showed up on the app am tasted okay 1233 there's a Panya 26 ring from Anderson make around in Grand Rapids traffic is bad and everything to Michigan left turn which so much or who has the right away message

My Food Based Cover Version of the hit movie Splice.

I don't know if I posted this yet, found it in my documents folder from 2 summers ago.

SCRIPT START:

SLICE

Scene 1: Creature is Born

1: (peering in microwave) Its not gonna make it

2: it's gonna make it

(Microwave dings)

1: extracting

2: it's... Beautiful

1: it's losing zest, condiment counter!

3: coming (with tray of condiments)

2: easy we don't know how this hybrid will react to standard spices

1: I'm not going to just sit here and watch it get stale. Ranch dressing.

3: ranch dressing (handing over ranch dressing in a professional manner)

2: why ranch dressing?

1: because ranch goes with everything. Are you gonna second guess my prep work or are we gonna save this thing?

3: it's starting to bubble and steam!

1: that means it's working! I think we might just be able to make a meal out of this yet.

(takes meal from plate to styrofoam container showing food for first time)

3: I think we’ve gone too far

2: I DON’T THINK WE WENT TOO FAR ENOUGH

3: so what do we do now?

1: now we wait. (shuts styrofoam container to reveal "SLICE")


Things get presented, go wrong, Creature gets moved

(conference room)

Manager: You two need to tell me what you’re presenting before we go in there.

1: That’s not how we cook manager, you know that!

Manager: Listen you guys are the best, you know it. I know it. The food business is a business.

2: We are the best because we don’t see it as a business. We see it as an art form.

Manager: An artform that needs to be funded to continue to operate… listen just tell me what we are selling here (interrupted by CEO coming in)

(manager stands to greet, 1+2 stay seated)

CEO: Sit. (manager sits) Good boy. (takes seat at table) What do we got.

1: We have the future of food.

2: Whats your top two favorite drunk foods.

CEO: Excuse me..

Manager: Guys… they are just joking.

2: Two favorite foods to eat when you are drunk, what are they?

CEO: I went to business school in…

1: And when you used to binge drink at business schoool what did you want to eat?

CEO: … I don’t like where this is going but it would have to be either pizza rolls or a hot pocket.

2: and what if we said you no longer have to choose?

CEO: I … tell me more.

1: (brings out Styrofoam container and opens it) This is doof. A hybrid food which is a cross between hot pocket/pizza rolls and other elements that are still being tested.

CEO: It looks delicious, but so much saturated fat. …. I fear you may have gone too far with this creation.

2: I FEAR WE HAVEN”T GONE TOO FAR ENOUGH!

Manager: what they mean is…

1: Shove it manager here’s what we mean… we are making this food product, you can either shut us down or get on board. (shuts Styrofoam container revealing the title slice)

(cut to outside conference room, 1+2 waiting outside)

Manager: Well pack up your snacks because they just shut down our food science lab

1: What?! After everything we’ve done for the food business?

2: Forget her and forget this food business, there’s a million other food businesses who would want to go into the food business with us.

1: We could move the food hybrid into my parents old food test lab.

2: But you have issues with your parents!

1: In the name of food science I will face those issues

(moving into second kitchen)

(1 setting random stuff down, 2 opening Styrofoam slice container to gaze lovingly at food hybrid)

1: (joining 2 in looking at the food product) How long are we going to see this through?

2: All the way. (1 puts 2 in his arms) You thinking what I’m thinking?

1: It’s been a long time. (closes Styrofoam container and turns around in 2’s arms to face him)

2: Too long (faces get closer as if to kiss but look off to the left to see fast food bag)

(switching from sensual voice to excited child like voice) AW YOU GOT TACO BELL?! AWESOME!

(montage of increasingly close zoomed in the creepier looking shots of 1 and 2 eating, during this Styrofoam container containing hybrid opens and camera pans to show hybrid watching 1 and 2)

(1 or 2 thinks they see the hybrid getting closer but they are too into eating to do anything about it, finally they get startled and hybrid is back in it’s box)

(fade to black)

Remaining plot points to hit:

-Scientist get too attached to creature, decide to kill it

-Creature kills one, gets devoured by other

-Food Baby, setup for sequel

it's coming

October 7th-ish

Datable Diary 3

There is that hump where you just think everything sucks and you just want to delete it and break your camera so you can't make this mess again.

Tonight I passed that point and it feels good. I reach that point with everything I do, work, my dog, all my extracurriculars.... But I think I am better than most at powering through and just getting it done. J's big thing was to put as many sound effects as possible into it. I still don't know if I like that idea but it seems to make it move faster. I am opposed to anything outside of what's on the camera because I'm the one responsible for putting in all that frilly crud and I usually am just SWAGing on how to do it. J gets excited when he uses iMovie because of all the transitions and filters until I remind him for the millionth time that this version of iMovie (2007, act like you know) isn't compatible with the current version of Mac os so that's one of the many features that glitch out.

As of right now with time set aside for credits we are at 9:15, longer than I wanted the awful things to say and j wanted his montages. I really wish we would have had time to shoot something/anything for an intro, as there were 3 pages written out for it and what we have now could really use a lead in. I'm thinking freeze frame/bullet points right now until I think of something lazier to try.

Dateable Diary #2

Editing is in progress, it's going ok. You don't realize what you should have shot until you don't have it. And yet we persevere. Definitely coming in under 10 minutes, hopefully under 7 after we trim some more. J is taking a sound effect/music pass, making some decisions that I don't quite agree with but it's not just my project (I'll wait till he leaves and undo his work).

I should have provided our actors and camera operators what I was looking for more clearly. But they did fine and the final product will hopefully reflect that.

Every video I've made I wish I would be able to capture every major hand body movement in close up to cut against. And every video I forget and either have it look like poorly edited garbage or try to recreate the shots during editing and have it look like fake garbage.

Watching Thor, a movie that succeeds despite piles of bad decisions made while producing it. The tone is very weird and the movies scope is intentionally small to just be a preamble for the Avengers. If this video succeeds then I have hooks built into to lead it into the next one, or even a previous one. But it will stand on it's own, if it stands at all, or if anyone can stand it.

J and I saw Drive today, a movie that would be under 20 minutes long if you cut out the tension or mood building moments. I sassed that there is more dead space in this movie than in every Michael bay movie combined, but it's not dead space, it is time and effort spent building characters and relationships. It is a risk, one that I and the rest of the Internet video kids can't afford.

Anyway J is reviewing music/sleeping. I will continue with Thor and listening to the even drunker WMU students celebrate a victory they had nothing to do with.

Dateable Diary #1

Ugh why doesn't the blogger app hav a landscape mode!?! Other than that it's perfect, but that's a big thing to not have.

Anyway. Dateable happend as part of "films with friends" a rededication of my video making efforts. It stars people who are not me which is a very d'être ing change,

I'm doing first edit now, just over 2 hours of forage from 2 cameras. I will speak about the sections I "finish" and leave out script details so we can all be surprised in how disappointed we are.

I had about 1.5 ideas for the visual look of this and one of them is upfront. I don't actually get ideas myself, just find new things to rip off. And in this opening we are ripping off a "how to use a monopod" segment from vimeo.com. It was rough looking while shooting but I like how the idea turned out.

This was the first thing we shot with Our actress and i think that worked out because the quick takes and running around of her comfortable. It also gave her a moment to take in where the video is being shot and get a visual on her costar without being thrown into his arms immediately.

I spiced in a couple shots of our actor but I think I'm going to cut them out. Right now this segment is just under a minute and I am going to need much time as possible later for jokes to cover up the fact the whole video takes place in one room. Also having out actor talked about but not seen or heard kind of ups the ante on what kind of stud/douche he's gonna be.

This segment leads directly into the conversation that will take up the rest of the movie. The first line from out actor feels like it takes forever to spit out, it makes me dread editing the rest of it because my goal to keep this thing moving and all I have is singles and the occasional movement worth showing to an audience. Oh well we will find it.

As of right now my goal for this video is to be 7-8 minutes, I would be ecstatic if I could fit everything good and tell a complete story in 5 or less, but I don't think it's going happen.

I'm done, thanks to my director of photography totally not seeing my head in the reflection of an otherwise excellent shot. I would have made the same mistake, I'm sure it'll get a laugh, and that's one more than the dialogue will get.

Saw 7/3D/FinalChapter/see you for the reboot!

Yay Netflix updated! I feel like Netflix has been getting slowed down by the jealous studios.

But until they come to an agreement I have the Saw finale (maybe for 3 years at most) and you have this live blog.

We have our hero(?) from the very first movie, I first liked then hated the retconning of additional plot in previous movies. Our Dr hero is noticably ten years older despite this taking place during the first movie.

The digital video they film these with is disgusting, even without the film content.

Dream sequences and nonstop traps in first 15 minutes, smart move. Also the movie is very bright, probably due to the 3D glasses they expected people to wear.

Sean Patrick Flannery (SPF)! Why didn't this guy get famous in the 90's. The most 90's dude I ever saw. He's faking being a jigsaw survivor, I doubt he'll be faking it for long. Looking bloated but he's probably past 40 so looking k.

So they are just making up jigsaw victims and flashing back to stuff from nonexistent flashbacks.

I doubt these movies pay well, and I'm sure you have to scrub pretty hard to get it off a resume. So many Canadian haircuts and accents!

SPF is nabbed! Just when I thought I was safe! There's a new cop in this one, hopefully he can catch the personality-less jigsaw helper by the time this franchise is over. The jigsaw helper escaped his trap nicely at the opening of the movie, much like the dude from Gilmore girls did 3 movies ago.

Live or die SPF, make your choice. Maybe he did this movie to motivate the studio to do another boondocks saints. Oh good, another flashback! Now showing us why/how SPF faked the jigsaw trap. He's got a bowl cut so I'll assume the flashback is from 1997 grunge or 2009 beiber fever struck the nation.

New cop has Canadian new York accent. "I knew you were crazy when I first laid eyes on you. Crazy." Sounds like the cop from heavy rain.

They should just start filming the saw reboot now in the entire east side of Michigan. I think the mood and broken down factories are already in place for it. How much money/time does jigsaw/new jigsaw have for these traps?

Why is jigsaw punishing his real former victim wife? Is it due to her being complicit in his lie? Is it because new jigsaw has no moral code? Oh speak of devil here is flashback of real jigsaw. That's what we call a meet cute!

Darn it movie no one cares about the bad cop procedural!

Jigsaw needs to provide operator instruction sheets and get signatures before starting a game. If consistent work isn't being followed then how can you expect a consistent product?

I have now caged my dog in front of the tv to calm him down for bed. I am the jigsaw to his soon to be dead students.

Flashback to cop vs new jigsaw grudge? Oh... Not yet, just some detective work. I converted a m4v to wmv at work today without installing any new software, now that's detective work.

The next jigsaw game is what I'm playing with youth group next week. Hopefully with fewer casualties.

I can't tell if my alarm is going off upstairs or the soundtrack has added a new terrible layer.

I love stuff only shot for 3D in 2D, like Thors hammer coming at the screen, or in this cases key falling out of a potential survivors hand.

Here's that cop/jigsaw flashback!

Movie 67% over with. I've went to Facebook, I fear a friend with a new profile pic is pregnant, I'm pretty good at telling women when they are pregnant. I think I even knew when my mon got pregnant before she did. I think I get this trait from my father because he took off running as soon as he got a whiff of me.

SPF is ripping out his teeth to get a locker combination, if I was jigsaw old just have the locker short locked.

The cop left the scene of the game to probably get himself killed or trapped alone somewhere. SPF got electric fenced and the dog and I jumped. I love how the wife is too mad at SPF to follow her natural survival instincts.

I love fake Hollywood abs. Also dumb cop looks like my boss. Also jigsaw did a variation of the twist theyve done since first saw. Also jigsaw killed cop with auto turret, with an amazing death fall from cop realizing he'll never act in this town again.

New jigsaw just killed every cop in town. SPF is going through with the trap he faked while his wife screams "you can do it!". Now that I see trap he could easily have done it without the injury. When jigsaw comes for me I think I'll be k.

Oh fake run from jigsaw! You can do it old jigsaws fake wife! I'm rooting for you... Wait am I rooting for her? New jigsaw walks, kills and talks like fat terminator.

SPF wife caught in some stove after he fails. New jigsaw takes forever fighting wife after killing every cop in hand to hand combat. But she's gone with the cheesey routine catchphrase "game over."

But new jigsaw is taken out by Carey Elwes from Saw 1 who was his secret accomplice despite not being in Saw 2-6. GAME OVER #2. IM OUT!

I am writing this from the toilet

There is finally a first party blogger app for the iPhone. Hopefully this will inspire me to write more often and more concisely. I'm debating giving up my iPhone plan next month. My contract is up and now I have a work phone... TBD. Idk what I will do without a constant Internet connection and that kind of excites me. I would probably keep this on me as wifi is in 90% of my stomping grounds.

With this relaunch of the blog, expect a lot less jokes... I just don't got it in me lately.

Sleep!

I need it, I will never have enough of it. I have been especially loud and disruptive at sleep lately. This may be due to half my body wanting to get up and play, and the other half would like the icy grip of death to rock me gently to eternal slumber. I have a dog now and he's a pretty good sleeping buddy when he's in the mood. Although when what's her face gets home he loses his mind and ruins everything.

I could go on but it's 11:21 and sadly I must work tomorrow. I have a 1 hour commute, I can't even sleep during it!

Women, you are not allowed go on a date

Until You Read This.

"I am special. I am also pretty and smart and all that other crap. I am no one's second choice. I want someone to share adventures with and I want to grow with someone. If this doesn't work out I will be fine but I really hope this goes somewhere. I have proper places for the current people and situations in my life and there is room for a relationship. I am willing to work for someone, but I will not tolerate being treated unfairly."

If you can't read that and have it be 99% true then you are not allowed to go on a date. I forbid it. If you can not imagine the person you are going on a date with saying this then you are not allowed to date that person. I am your father and you will do as I say.

BUT WAIT THERE IS MORE

"I would like to go on a date with you because I would like to go on a date with you. I am not bringing you into my life so that I can have stories to share. If I feel like talking about our experiences I will, stories will be told with respect for you and for me. I have told the gossips in my life to get their own life. I am not doing this to bring anyone else pleasure or pain. You are not an obligation. I am excited to see you and see where this goes."

Again if you can't say this about yourself or assume it about your prospective suitor then you should probably make it a solitaire night.

Oh and one more deal maker statement for you and your man "I do not have a blog"

Good luck out there ladies.

I AM HESTER PRINN.

I am not like you, nor am I like the other people that work at my job. I am a contract employee, which means the company I work for is paying another company more money than I am getting for having me work there. I am surprizingly ok with them taking a cut of my goods and services for two reasons: I am not going to be worth anything to this company for a long while and the contractor pushed up my payrate much higher than I even value myself at.

In regards to pay I really hope I'm given the promised payrate when I see my first paycheck. I have an offer letter but the whole "THIS CAN BE RENEGOTIATED AT ANYTIME WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT" thing scares me. I believe the agency gets a percentage of my hourly rate so I think its in their best interest to be honest with me. We'll see at the end of the month (I think I get paid then... I hope I get paid then).

Aside from that I'm pretty much a second class citizen: I have to complain for any access to anything that real employees are given the keys to on their first day. No company funded health care or investment plans is also annoying. It'll be k though. I'll tell you what's not k, I spent a good portion of my lunch hour finding neat stuff at the company store. I was told at checkout that I wasn't allowed to purchase anything unless I was a 100% pureblooded employee.

I think this is how the holocaust started.

Calm Down. I was only gone for a minute.

I'm back....I'm back. Now settle yourself down. I leave for a short period of time and you start flipping out and waking the neighbors. Don't worry where I was, I ran out for a minute. Let's not talk about how I left you. Let's talk about your behavior when I was away. You need to be able to handle yourself when I leave you. You are old enough to not be scared about me leaving you. You have the capabilities of entertaining and supporting yourself in my absence.

... I'm not going to hold this over your head. I'm back now. So what are we going to do with each other?

Rekindling the magic

Ten things that could make me excited about this blog again:

1. The return of Sleepy Cricket

2. New and exciting things happening in my life to talk about

3. Life getting substantially worse so that I would have something to talk about

4. Being in possession of a baby

5. Any artistic ability whatsoever

6. Energy

7. Time off

8. An exciting new project to tell you about

9. A new videogame/movie to inspire praise/wrath

10. More readers

Pasta and greens, heavy on the greens.

I just made an amazing dish, so now you're all going to hear about it.

Cut and prepare some green beans, asparagus, cucumber, green (or red) pepper, green onion and yellow (or red) onion and throw in a pan.
Add some oil (canola, of course, and remember, less is more) and crushed or minced garlic.
Turn on the heat and mix it up.
Let it start to simmer...tsss....yeah~~.
Add some salt, ground pepper, Mrs. Dash, chili powder (optional), and cumin (not optional - this is what makes green beans not suck).
Keep mixing it.
Smelling it yet? Good.
I forgot to say this before, and my mouse and arrow keys are broke, so I'm saying it now: At some point, start boiling some water, and chuck in your favorite pasta (penne and bowtie are both great for this). I suggest using less pasta then veggies, they are the stars here, with pasta playing a supporting role. Prepare al dente.
Drain pasta and add to frying pan. Keep frying them together on a lower heat until they are mixed perfectly.
Add some Parmesan cheese.
Enjoy knowing that since you cook, you are better then those who don't.

Variations:
Skip the parm and use eggless noodles to go vegan.
Zucchini and squash can also be added.
Grilled chicken can also be added.

EA Active is 20 dollars at Sam's Club and possibly Toys R Us

Sleepy cricket and I both purchased EA Active for Xbox and PS3 respectively. I have completed two days worth of workouts and I would like to make it part of my daily routine despite the jank. I have said this before of Wii Fit, but Wii Fit sucks. The primary reason why Wii Fit sucked was because it made you go to the main menu after every routine. The average routine in Wii Fit was about 1.5 minutes long, and few of the routines involved keeping a WiiMote in your hand. So routine ended up being; start Wii, select your Mii, get harrassed for not playing often enough, select workout, LOAD, start routine, LOAD, select another, LOAD, shut the Wii off without saving in disgust.

EA Active 2 seems to correct most of these problems, but the PS3 version adds a new one. You have to wear arm bands on both arms and 1 thigh, which the game tracks about 50% of the time. This means its awkward and you are going to do 50% more reps than the game will give you credit for. But what the hey, it was 20 dollars and I don't really have a suppliment right now to my increasingly occasional runs.

Barry Pepper is the model of class and dignity

This guy is the man. I'm watching the Kennedy's mini-series that was deemed too hot for History Channel. People scoffed at the way the family was depicted but 4 episodes in it seems pretty much what I've read. Trying to make a narrative film about anyone's life has to be filled with lies and composites in order to make sense in a 2-8 hour narrative. The thing is well produced but filled with terribly showy performances. This isn't a drama killer per-say, aside from Katie Holmes as Jackie, a showy performance from a girl with little to show is kind of embarrassing.

Kennedy just assigned his "first negro to presidential protection detail." Yes we can America. Yes we can. Uh oh, old whitey's got a problem with it. Kennedy don't give a rip.

Ok back to Barry Pepper. He's playing Bobby Kennedy and has a ridiculous hair cut, but he is holding himself and his facial contortions with grace and dignity that is far more than this extended cable historical drama deserves. He's been in a lot of terrible movies and hasn't always been the best part, but he has done his job and earned his paycheck. I really noticed him in the 25th Hour, which was a scenery chewing performance in a scenery chewing movie (still awesome). But in most other roles he's been reasonably restrained. He played Roger Marris AND Dale Erndhart for crying out loud, and Barry is about the only guy who could make this bastard care about sports. No I haven't seen either of those movies but if they were on netflix I might skim them.

I just looked at IMDB and it turns out he played Tom Ripley in a movie, I must find it. Review forthcoming.

TKD

I've decided to take getting in shape to the next level.
It's a level that involves speaking in tongues, kicking invisible people, and lots of yelling.
You guessed it, I'm taking martial arts classes. Specifically TaeKwonDo.
TaeKwonDo is Korean for "the way of the hand and foot". It is a journey with yourself to find inner-peace, and to bring peace to other.
You also get to kick some serious ass!
The first ass I'm kicking is my own. It, and the rest of my body parts need to learn who's boss. I've been at is for three weeks and so far my collar bones have been the first to stand up and say "I want to be seen in the mirror!" It's nice to be able to feel them for a change.
On a good day after some serious stretching I can (for the first time) throttle my toes without bending my knee to show them whose boss.
I've always been sort of a martial arts geek. I enjoy cheesy Kung Fu movies and regard Chuck Norris and Jackie Chan as living legends. Because of this, while in class, doing kicks and kihaps (Korean for scream e.g. "Hiya!") even when I'm getting hurt (physically or emotionally) I may start to giggle at how cool it all is.
Besides all this, probably the best part about TaeKwondo is that the auto-correct really wants it to become "Wonderbra". No joke.
On a serious note, I've never been this flexible, this in shape, the regimen keeps me focused, and I'm really really enjoying it. I recommend martial arts to everyone! (Except the Swedes.)

An unformated live blog of "Get Over It" starring Ben Foster and Kirsten Dunst

C-Minus posted to Sleepy Cricket

Netflix News: Coolio is in "Get Over It" for about 2 seconds. Maybe there is a directors cut where he has a subplot.

Monday at 9:27pm · · ·

C-Minus Sisquo is in it as well.

Monday at 9:27pm ·

C-Minus So is the main girl Navii from Avatar

Monday at 9:28pm ·

C-Minus So is Tom Hank's child actor child.

Monday at 9:29pm ·

C-Minus So is a strobe light and every terrible film gimmick we've ever tried.

Monday at 9:30pm · · 1 person

C-Minus Kirsten Dunst and Meg Griffin! They are having i-don't-know-how-to-act off!

Monday at 9:33pm ·

C-Minus I just started the movie back up again. I'm 20% in.

about an hour ago ·

C-Minus Our hero is using the Big Red commercial theme song to audition for his high school musical. It's the first genuine smile i've had all movie.

58 minutes ago ·

C-Minus This is really high school musical without the musical stuff. The director s cramming as many extras in every frame as possible. And they are smiling and talking so passionately in the background. It's very distracting and very excellent.

56 minutes ago ·

C-Minus Martin Short is in this. He's playing his character as Martin Short, a bold choice to be sure.

55 minutes ago ·

C-Minus Oh and our man who joined the musical is conflicted with his basketball obligation.

55 minutes ago ·

C-Minus The PG-13 level swearing is really empowering the students in the movie to use low level curses as punctuation marks and replacements for jokes and original thoughts.

53 minutes ago ·

C-Minus Main character was just urinated on by a horse in a dream sequence.

52 minutes ago ·

C-Minus Sisquo just said his first line! it's 35 minutes in and Sisquo is secondary bff

52 minutes ago ·

C-Minus Sisqo is using a nasally voice yours to cover up his beautiful high pitch falsetto, also yours.

51 minutes ago ·

C-Minus The movie is gonna pair up sisqo and jackie from that 70's show.

47 minutes ago ·

C-Minus Bobby Knight-reference.

45 minutes ago ·

C-Minus The two leads just romantically played ABC on the piano together.

43 minutes ago ·

C-Minus Oh Carmen Electra cameo... they must have been having hot meals in the catering truck to secure her talents.

41 minutes ago ·

C-Minus Characters dad is played by Stan Sitwell from Arrested Development.

40 minutes ago ·

C-Minus If you are writing a script where a nunchuck is used for comedic affect, I would suggest deleting the entire script.

38 minutes ago ·

C-Minus Main character's name is Burt Landers.

38 minutes ago ·

C-Minus Burt Landers.

38 minutes ago ·

C-Minus less than 5 minutes after character jokingly taken out by nunchuck, character is jokingly taken out by crossbow.

36 minutes ago ·

C-Minus It's a very montagey movie. Tommy Wiseau took note.

35 minutes ago ·

C-Minus Sisqo is stepping up to be a dancer. And Mary Jane Parker is going to sneak one of her original songs into the performance.... so intense.

20 minutes ago ·

C-Minus pretty sure sisqo used one of the routines from an old dru hill video in this movie.

16 minutes ago ·

C-Minus colin hanks wins for best "get a load of this movie" reaction shots in the movie.

15 minutes ago ·

Sleepy Cricket Oh Mylanta! This is great. We already have Michael Bay signed up for this. And if he asks, we have $300 million in Danish securities...

9 minutes ago ·

C-Minus Play was great success despite the cast rewriting it on the spot. ENDING WITH SISQO COVER OF "SEPTEMBER!" This has been "Get Over It" I have been your host C- Minus. Have a good night everyone!

I'd like the NOOK COLOR better if I knew how to read.

Purchased a Nook Color a couple days ago, it was a refurb but even at retail it seems like the cheapest tablet computer thats gonna be around for a while. No I haven't rooted it yet to make it completely open. But even locked down it has a web browser that runs flash and a horribly crippled app store. I think it even plays books. Reads books. Allows me to look at words.

And look at books I have. Look at book. And that book is 5 Chapters in and No Stories about the Sex Tape Yet. Actually Rob Lowe is my guy, especially after Parks and Rec, and the sex tape.

Anyways. Battery life is good, touch screen is meh but its going k so far. Wish it had some of the stuff that a real tablet would have but I paid 1/3 the price for it so I'll give it a pass.

A new franchise

So I had this idea for a movie franchise, probably gonna start off with a trilogy budgeted at 175 million each before prints and advertising. Gonna be this cocky but good guy who gets this power at the same time this evil guy gets power. They gotta fight but for the good guy to win he has to lose his cockiness, not the cockiness that comes from his character traits or jokes but the cockiness that we made up as a debilitating factor. With the help of his love interest and experienced associate he becomes a true hero and saves the day. He enjoys one chaste kiss with love interest before running off for unseen adventures.

WRITTEN/DIRECTED/STARRING C MINUS

BASED ON THE CHARACTERS OF DC COMICS/MARVEL/C-MINUS

END CREDITS

Movie fades from credits to experienced associate. Experienced associate has decided to become evil in the sequel and reveals himself to be the true bad guy and that first nemesis was just some foot soldier or something.

END CREDITS of crew. By crew I mean union personnel. Everyone else has had their name scrubbed off of this thing.

Movie fades from crew credits to reveal previously unseen/heard of supervisor for good guys. Supervisor asks our hero to join this band of good guys for future adventures.

END CREDITS of 14 special effects companies that were rushed into working on top of one another to meet the release date that was set for the movie before the movie was ever put into production.

Movie fades from special effect credits to reveal a spin off character that will be having his own origin story next summer.

END CREDITS of state governments that paid for this movie with tax credits and upfront bonuses for having an important media conglomerate choose their area to construct a green screen and have actors pretend to fight tennis balls.

Movie fades from government sponsorship credits to reveal that the producers of this movie have learned a lot since this movie was released 2 days ago and promise to take the character in "darker" directions for the sequel that will happen if international grosses cover the domestic shortfall.

END CREDITS of 3D effects companies and a message about returning the disposable 3D glasses you paid an extra 2.50 for.

Please see the concession stand out in the lobby for gift certificates and foodstuffs.

3D and lobby messages interrupted to make one last reference to a previous film/media product that this current movie was supposed to be rebooting.

I think the super book is my equivalent to the one ring

With that being said I didn't actually read or pay attention to much of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I've never been a fantasy person. But the power of the super book consumes me. I think a nice documentary idea would be called "Super Book" where someone buys a super book in march and has to use every single coupon before the book expires the next year. I think it would have some adventures in it, actually multiple adventures because there is about 3 of every coupon.

There is a commercial on TV right now for Taco Bell in response to the lawsuit about saying their food contains meat instead of meat-product. I was indifferent to the issue, but wish post Taco Bell I would be able to have a healthy poop, instead of have an explosive and poorly timed poop-product.

A casual survey of people who think this guy is a jerk.

Isn't this guy a jerk? He's a jerk isn't he!?! I'm gonna go down the line of everyone in attendance and get your confirmation that you think this guy is a jerk, because I really don't have enough experience with the person to call them a jerk but I want to call this person a jerk loudly and proudly.

Jerk. Jerk. Jerk. eh....

What do you mean you don't like this conversation? I'm just trying to say that this person that I don't really know is a jerk and has done nothing but jerky things with all of his jerky friends. And I'm just trying to say this with the support and backing from my handpicked group of supporters. Maybe if you don't think this guy is a jerk you should just leave. Maybe you should join this jerk in the jerk store, because they just called and they are fresh out of you.

ExerBeat

ExerBeat.
Funny name, serious workout.
It's a rhythm-based exercise game in which you use one or both Wii remotes to do dances, and martial arts while following along with trainer. Sounds pretty cheesy and a lot like most other kiddie Wii games, but gets inside tents. Now thats intense. You even have a music note acciuntabilibuddy who encourages you when you do well or work out in consecutive days. When you miss too many days though he does get a nasty side, and threatens suicide due to abandonment.
I really enjoy it, especially the boxercizing and karate modes. and for 20 bucks it's well worth it. You do have to try and actually be into it, however. I even put wrist weighs on sometimes to really ramp it up.
Buy it.

Oh, and here's a linky to a vid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1jYpqq8n48

Review: Fuji XP20 Waterproof Camera

Last year I bought a Samsung camera off woot.com, it was actually my first real digital camera and I was excited for it. I like to document stuff and for the past couple of years I had mainly used my cellphone and video cameras to keep track of things. Cellphone's take terrible pictures, no matter how many megapixels they say they are every picture looks like a grainy piece of garbage on a good day. The camcorder is decent at pictures but bulky and usually not available when I am out and about.

I was slowly getting the hang of the Samsung, it had a screen on the front for taking the profile shot which was a nice gimmick. I think the "was" in the previous sentence is a sign that the camera was not long for this world. The screen was punctured by my keys when shoving it in my pocket. Here is a picture of my former cowriter in the broken viewfinder:

Five months after the Samsung died I was ready for love again. But finding the suitable partner was a problem. I had given myself a budget of 150 or under, as I don't know what I'm doing and just want something that can take a picture of what I point it at. With a Super Saturday ad bringing double discounts I decided to take a chance on the Fuji Film XP20. Reviews online ranged from Meh to pretty good and best of all it was waterproof and shockproof (probably key proof). I think the "was" in the previous sentence is a sign that the camera was not long for this world. In my ownership the XP20 showed no signs of dying, but it also showed no signs of being able to take a decent picture under any type of condition. Most settings I knew how to use on a camera were hidden away, and the ones available to use seem to be worthless. SLEEPY CRICKET said the photos had a nice "70's look" in an effort to affirm my purchase, I returned the favor by telling him it was a good idea to drink out of the doggie drinking fountain that we saw at the beach.

After wasting my time with it over memorial day weekend it was immediately returned and taken off my credit card. I'm not mourning the fact this camera didn't work out though. I'm jumping right back on that camera owning horse. There was a low-end Canon on sale at Radio Shack (I thought the chain went out of business) and I impulsively picked one up. Initial signs are positive but things don't fail on me until I need them so I'll have to report back on my next important occasion.

Have a good day

The look on the young girl’s face while she brought the pregnancy test to the counter brought a tear to my eye and a prayer to my heart.

I saw in her eyes friends, education, careers, and a life of joy cowering in fear of diapers, crying, doctors visits, and constant attention.

I saw on her lips an attempt at bravery, but on her brow worry.

I sensed the crossroads and indecision. The choice as well as the choicless.

I felt her load, weighing down the air around us.

I thought of a hundred comforting words to say, but chose only four.

I said “Have a good day.”

And meant every word.

Auto-Facetagging is Creepy

I got a new camera and a desperately seeking subjects while I learn to use it (or until I break it). After putting my first photo set on my computer I decided to tag some faces, this is one of the random but increasingly frequent times that technology made me feel sick.

My computer went through my other pictures and guessed what other ones had my people in it. While the results were laughably 50% accurate on person and gender, I imagine Google and Facebook have this thing down to a science. I'm usually not one to care about surrendering my rights and privacy to the machine, but for some reason my computer seeking out my 3 year old nephew without consent is scary.

It not only went through my pictures but my videos as well. I think to protect myself I am going to make sure that every picture I take is blurry beyond recognition of human or machine. Maybe I will do one better and return the camera (I think it might actually suck anyway) and just invest the money in stickynotes which I would use to draw pictures of the memories (cleavage) that I want documentation of.

Ok I'm done. Have you noticed I don't update as often? It's because I have lost my creative drive. Enjoy these poorly planned scraps while I'm still able to poop them out.

in this post I fix the secondary education system

I'm in a mood and dreading work tomorrow so let's pull this post out of my noggin. You may have heard this in real life or I may have just glared the plan in your direction.

Without further ado.

How to fix the public education system.

The five day school week is now cut down to four days a week per student. If you really need the time to "teach" (you don't) you can tack another hour on the top keeping the punks off the street till 4. The days will rotate by grade or student specialization (more on that later).

Ok so the kids and select teachers have the day off. But they don't. Day 5 of each week is "co-op day" where they either have an out of school project or a job. This job could be something to help with future college/career goals if the student is motivated or special, or it could be a public works project if the student is normal-below average.

The work projects would be menial labor/tasks and be managed by our newly freed up teachers. It could be anything from cleaning up public campgrounds and parks or working in the school lunch room. This would show the students and more importantly teachers what its like to work a day a week and prepare them to do a real job once they hit adult hood.

Works projects would get a grade and a letter of recommendation at the end of the semester. Both could be used to help secure post school opportunities. They could also use these as spring boards for actual summer employment for teachers and students. During the school year student's would get some minimum-wage or sub minimum wage stipend placed into an education trust.

So far we have reduced the amount of students in each school/classroom. Either gained some work or cut some staff of public employees. And finally taught everyone in the public education system what a real job is. Maybe we have even opened up some new career options for students.

My plan may sound disrespectful to teachers. That's mainly because I don't really have much respect for teachers. The education system is insulated from the real world. This plan would help breakdown the soap box that teachers and school administrators are standing on.

That's my idea. I think it would work. Saving jobs and giving some real world education for a change.

Ok I'm done, feel free to throw a fit about how I hate children.

A service I would pay a premium for

I hate debt and I hate bills. I have been known to go without just to avoid a recurring fee. I lived at home for the past 2 years mainly to avoid the 300-600 a month in "independence" expenses. I told people that living at home gave me the freedom to do whatever I wanted with my life, which was a lie because I worked at a job I CENSORED mainly to avoid the feeling that I would be trapped in my current living situation forever.

But that's what I wasn't willing to pay for. Here is what I am willing to pay for.

I currently pay 90 dollars a month for phone service, 40 for the calling plan (which I use maybe 10% of), 30 for internet (now tolerable with 3G) and 20 for texting. I would pay 180 dollars a month if I had a written guarantee that people would pick up my calls or at least return my messages. I'm not some stalker or anything, I think most of the people I try to communicate with appreciate my existence in their life, but they are either lazy or feel that they are better than me.

Case in point: I do you a favor and ask for feedback on favor. "Is this good enough?" I asked someone this a while ago and it was something that they were reasonably concerned about. I hear nothing. Not only do I hear nothing but I see them wasting time posting frivolous bullshot on facebook. Listen lady this is part 1 of 5 unpaid obligations I'm doing for you and you can't even tell me if I'm on the right track? I will double the 40 dollars a month I pay for home Internet if the Internet promises me that my recipeients would treat me with at least the same respect they treat cat macros (this rant is against a composite person and its not you or anyone you know so get off your high horse).

Case in double point: I apply for a job and here nothing back. This is worse than the form rejection letter that 10% of companies have the decency to cut and paste to me. I would pay a ten dollar admission fee for every job I apply to (this would be thousands of dollars) if two things were promised:

1. A live human with the authority to move me anywhere forward in the HR process looked at my resume/cover letter for more than 30 seconds.

2. The job exists and is actually available to outside hires.

3. I get a YES, NO, or TRY BACK LATER response in 30 days of applying.

Ok I'm done. How far did everyone make it on the poem that was posted yesterday? I made it to the third line. I bookmarked it and will try to read it sober some time.

Also: I ate a bunch of rasins and I think its starting to catch up with my waste management system.

The girl without the dragon tatoo

The look on the young girl’s face while she brought the pregnancy test to the counter brought a tear to my eye and a prayer to my heart.
I saw in her eyes friends, education, careers, and a life of joy cowering in fear of diapers, crying, doctors visits, and constant attention.
I saw on her lips an attempt at bravery, but on her brow worry.
I sensed the crossroads and indecision.
The choice as well as the choicless.
I felt her load, weighing down the air around us.
I thought of a hundred comforting words to say, but chose only four.
I said “Have a good day.”
And meant every word.