SATURDAY 6:55AM
I am so excited for the inventory presentation that will take place in 5 minutes. Everyone cool from the plant is here, all of those filthy hourly employees are at home with their families and sponsors, just us salaried personnel and management. Oh look C-Minus didn't shower, even my cat gives itself baths! Multiple Bath's a day if you are the cat's private area. Not that I'm counting, but he gets so affectionate after he washes down there its hard to miss the corelation. Oh I'm gonna say a shrill good morning before we get started
SATURDAY 6:59
"GOOD MORNING COMPANY! ISN"T EVERYONE THRILLED TO BE HERE?"
SATURDAY 7:01
Oh what non-inventory related things will I talk to people about today? Weekend plans of course, OR WHAT"S LEFT OF WEEKEND PLANS!? HA I mentally crack myself up sometimes. Stay serious face so it looks like I'm paying attention.
SATURDAY 7:30
Presentation is over and they are all filing out with their heads down. I'm gonna offer one of them a high five. C-Minus has a couple minutes of youth left, he'll get it
SATURDAY 7:31
C-MINUS HIGH FIVE FOR GOOD LUCK!
SATURDAY 7:32
DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING LIKE THE EXTENDED FAMILY MEMBERS THAT NO LONGER TAKE MY CALLS
SATURDAY 7:33
Inventory task #1: Tweet the nieces to see if they want to see Beastly at Celebration Cinema during Inventory lunch time.
SATURDAY 9:45
OH BEASTLY WAS A BLAST! That guy was so handsome as the beauty and the beast! Makes me want to go back 30 years and not give up on men moments after they as a gender gave up on me. Glad I previewed it before inviting the nieces, just got a tweet back which said no but I'll be ready if they change their minds later today. Are those jokers done counting yet? I should see if the plant manager is available to hear some of my cat church stories, which are stories about the Universalist Church that I made on my back porch. We don't talk down the the kitties like the Catholics or the dumpster by Burger King.
SATURDAY 10:00 AM
Oh boy, my second favorite part of the day, I get to page everyone to the break room to get their quarterly donut.
"ATTENTION INVENTORY CREWS, IT IS BREAK TIME AND FOR THE NEXT 15 MINUTES YOU CAN ENJOY A DONUT AND EACH OTHER'S COMPANIONSHIP. I'M SO LONELY. WILL THE SWEATIEST MAN PLEASE REPORT TO THE SPINSTER SECTION OF THE OFFICE SO THAT I MAY SMELL YOU."
SATURDAY 10:15 AM
I really shouldn't have eaten that donut, what with my diabetes and all. I sold my insulin to the former body builder on 2nd shift so I'm just going to sleep in my car til I level off.
SATURDAY 2:00 PM
Oh wow, that 15 minute nap hit the spot. I can't feel my feet but the donut was worth it. Inventory is the best day. Wait, why are people heading to their cars.
"Hey C Minus, I run this inventory. Get back to counting. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE INVENTORY IS DONE? I DIDN'T DISMISS YOU!"
SATURDAY 2:05 PM
And here I am alone again, the desolatation of the parking lot reminds my of my apartment and my heart. Well I guess I'll spend my Saturday afternoon like any other 54 year old single woman would, by going to the mall and trying to make friends with 14 year olds.
TILL NEXT QUARTER!
- SPINSTER
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