You are a Valuable Member of Our Team- Full Script/Outline/Junkpile

Here it is, a long outline of an idea that has haunted me since high school:

0 - Prologue

1 - Part 1

2- Part 2

3- Part 3

4- Part 4

5- Part 5

6- Epilogue

It was rushed and not as good as it was in my head. And in an effort to get all the plot down in a reasonable time I didn't write a single joke... they were all terrible so you aren't missing anything.

More egregiously I didn't write out any of the hypnotic monotony that comes with working in retail. In 2006 when I started experimenting with making stuff for the Internet, I tried to put some of these retail feelings in video form. This is how it turned out.

I don't talk about this cartoon anymore, so don't ask.

Thanks for reading, or pretending to read.

YOU ARE A VALUABLE MEMBER OF OUR TEAM- Epilogue

Our hero and A died with much media coverage, but little fanfare. Their deaths were spun into larger stories of upheaval and unrest. For some reason the police investigating the incident didn't really know what to do with the smorgasbord of history between the former project manager and our hero, so they offered a plea of vehicular manslaughter and it was accepted. The former project manager enters his correctional facility... not as a hero, but reasonably respected... he enjoys his time in prison.

The media coverage of the event scares away Wal-Mart and any other potential buyers of SS. With general merchandise cleared out and half of the stores empty, the founder worked with his family while on his deathbed to come up with a new strategy for the store. SS would not restock the shelves, they would lease out the empty store space cheaply to small businesses. This plan was not an overnight success but overtime SS became known as an incubator and champion of small businesses. Slowly SS reclaimed it's territory from Wal-Mart and evolved from an irrelevant superstore to a business that supported the community.

This transition included interviewing all employees for a third time and hiring them back in. Those that made the cut were happy to have health insurance and a paycheck that came from the place that they worked, not some worthless middleman of a contractor. SS used this time to clean house of store management, replacing bottom tier college grads with people who knew and cared about their workplace. Service manager was one of the few that turned down the job at SS, having our hero watch the store gave her a chance to think and explore other carer options.

One of those options was the recently vacated project manager position.

YOU ARE A VALUABLE MEMBER OF OUR TEAM- Prologue

I want to write and produce more in 2012. I think I should start by writing some overviews of ideas that have been bouncing around in my head for way to long. I am going to start by hopefully summarizing my longest gestating idea. This thing started when I was in high school and has had the plot changed about 30 times, so it sucks. But for once I'm going to get it all out of my system.

YOU ARE A VALUABLE MEMBER OF OUR TEAM

Idea's age: 2000-Present

Idea life span: started as a heist film of an armored truck that picked up at my previous retail workplace. In college it was a Clerks style coming of age while not really doing anything story. Since I was fired from my first job it was "Crash-in a dying superstore"with media being the straw man instead of racism.

Prologue

This idea starts with our hero having his final morning at an ad agency. It is 8AM or so and the office is beautiful but foreboding as not many people have arrived yet. Our hero works on various spreadsheets before wiping his eyes and getting up for a quick drink. Making small talk with another early arriving coworker it is clear that our hero understands that something is going to happen. As he arrives to his desk he see's a project manager and HR person waiting for him at his cube. They guide him into the PM office, in the office he is given his termination notice. Dialogue is covered up by music or internal monologue of the hero. PM leaves to inform the rest of the department/start his day. In filling out final paperwork our hero knocks over a cup of pencils which he forces himself to pick up despite the HR person telling him it is fine. He uses this awkwardness to stick a usb in the PM's desk, he removes it in a couple moments after he finishes the pencils and his paperwork.

He walks solemnly with the HR person past his cube where his things were hastily placed in a cardboard box. He heads toward the exit with his box as members of his department are heading into an adjacent conference room. The coworker from earlier notices him and calls our hero to join them. Our hero gives a slight head shake and the coworker sees the box in his hands. The coworker looks at the conference room and realizes the meeting is going to be about our hero's termination.

Our hero walks towards the door, seeing the beautiful ad and media material lining the walls of the agency. As he walks past the signs they slowly dissolve from branded material to a red [X] that you see when an image doesn't load on a website. In a move that startles the HR person our hero shakes her hand before exiting on the elevator.

On the silent drive home billboards and businesses also transition to [X]. He arrives at his apartment, with a reserved despair across his face. He looks at his things, the life that he once had, he looks down at the USB key in his hand, the logo on it slowly dissolves into the [X]. With this change he grips the USB key with a newly found determination. The action then speeds up to time lapse/fast forward as he breaks down all of his belongings packs them in his car (leaving a lot of stuff on the curb) and floors it out of the parking lot.

For twenty-some odd years our hero has existed, but starting today he was on a mission to destroy. Speeding out of his former parking lot with vengeance on his mind. But before he could move forward with his plan... or his plan to have a plan, he had to go to buy some stuff.

I think the super book is my equivalent to the one ring

With that being said I didn't actually read or pay attention to much of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I've never been a fantasy person. But the power of the super book consumes me. I think a nice documentary idea would be called "Super Book" where someone buys a super book in march and has to use every single coupon before the book expires the next year. I think it would have some adventures in it, actually multiple adventures because there is about 3 of every coupon.

There is a commercial on TV right now for Taco Bell in response to the lawsuit about saying their food contains meat instead of meat-product. I was indifferent to the issue, but wish post Taco Bell I would be able to have a healthy poop, instead of have an explosive and poorly timed poop-product.