I Blame The Soap Companies

Ok, so there's this lady I work with that likes to bring in peppers & tomatoes in from her garden. So, not knowing what I would do with them, I took a ghost pepper, a jalapeno & a habanero. Now my grand scheme began by throwing myself a high society dinner by adding a habanero to my cup of Ramen.

Ladies & gentlemen, as it turned out, this was no gentle pepper. I understood that this pepper would be hot, but I had no idea it would take me down the back of an alley and rub it's juices in my face.

Now let me back up. There I was, cutting peppers, then I put them in the cup let them sit and then went to go wash my hands. Then I played some halo, touched my eye a little, and for some reason my eyes were just burning. Ok, so now I'm still cool, trying to just sit there, then I try to wipe off the burning with a part of my hand I didn't use to touch juice, but that didn't work either! It just smeared it around more.

At this point, I decide, "hey, I'll just take my contacts out because they might be hard to get out later." I washed my hands like 8 times and then I reached in to take my contact out. OH MY FLIPPING GORGEOUS, there's still like juice on my fingers, so I'm there cringing for about 3 minutes, then I bravely take out the other contact knowing the burn I'd face. There I was, the situation 10 times worse than where I started, so now free of those pesky contacts, I take a shot of milk, splotch it on my face and I'm as good as gold.

Until...

Alright, so I used the same contacts the next day thinking they'd be fine. Without taking anymore of your time, I'll just say that I had to get new contacts.

Anyway, same thing happened when I was about 14. So the old adage, "fool me once, shame on, shame on you. Fool me, you can't get fooled again," does not hold true.

In closing, I blame the soap the companies for not putting a warning on their bottles that says something along the lines of, "Won't clean hot pepper juice until the 20th time," or, "we're a lying stupid soap company and our cucumber/watermelon scented products are flipping bogus, however the scent is very nice." Yeah, something like that, but probably condensed.

I may be 3% to blame for sticking my fingers in my eyes, but ya know I'm sure it happens all the time.

Goodnight private diary.