That's it I'm done. I made something beautiful and it turns out you ladies and Jon Purdy just can't handle it. But before I retire my favorite physical form of endearment. I would like to give a brief eulogy of the back rub hug:
The backrub hug was developed a couple of years ago and given a select group of people I care about (just women and occasionally Jon Purdy). To execute the backrub-hug you simply embrace in a hug then instead of just placing your hands on the back you lightly rub their back for just a second. Nothing creepy, just an additional layer of "I KNOW YOU" on top of an already nice gesture.
And that was my thing for a very select few women and Jon Purdy. And in the beginning it was nice. But then you ladies and Jon Purdy started being bia's about it. Everyone hugs differently; some people pat the back, some people caress the buttocks, some people smell your hair, and some people just stand their trying not to show physical signs of arousal. One time a guy hugged me and it didn't end until I was in the trunk of his car going across state-lines. For 99% of the populace I just hugged, and the additional ladies and Jon Purdy got that extra 1%.
But then it started getting out of hand. People who got the backrub-hug started forgetting that I did that and were all like "WTF?" and then people who didn't get it would be all like "WTF what?" Then the backrub-hugged would tell the non-backrub-hugged about the backrub-hug and then the non-backrubbed-hugged would have their feelings hurt about their back not being backrub-hugged.
It's a hug, not rock-paper-scissors. Society has taken something beautiful that I made and turned it into something sick.
I have given my last back-rub hug, and the last recipient didn't even appreciate it.
No comments:
Post a Comment