The Joneses (There is a $ sign in the first S of the title that I refuse to put in there based on principal)

I will start this review by revealing the premise (twist?) of the Joneses: They are a group of marketing/sales people posing as a rich family. They go into a community and make new friends and admirers for the sole purpose of selling them stuff and hooking them on new brands. The premise is awesome and as of 70 minutes into the movie the only thing notable about the movie.

The Jonseses are composed of the beautifully creepy couple of Demi Moore and David Doucovany, I really think David has had as much work done as Demi as they both look like cryogenically frozen 20 year olds who are sagging in instead of sagging out. They have two 30 year old kids playing 18 year olds. One is gay and the other is that girl who shows her boobs in every movie that's not "Drive Angry 3D."

The Joneses is one of those movies that you can tell were made with janky producers or a budget that got slashed at last minute as everything feels really small. Small cast despite a big premise, and now that I think of it, David Duchovyanany and Demi Moore are really weird people to be headlining this thing, I bet if it was 1997 it would be the biggest movie of the year (I said that about Knight and Day when I saw it this year as well).

But lets get back into the movie. Right now the climax is playing as David Doucahni is revealing himself to be the salesman to the community after someone kills himself trying to be like him. The camera work has gotten all jumbly after being classically shot earlier, this is either done to push the emotional aspects or the janky producers didn't rent the steadycam for enough days.

I'm trying to find out why I don't like this movie despite the adequate cast and premise that is really up my alley. I think the issue is that the movie has really nothing to offer. There is no drama as these people are fake and no one is really on to their charade. I find both the leads creepy looking, still capable of arousing me, but creepy and don't care if they get together since I think they are composed of the same replacement flesh.

Yesterday at work I told the workwife a joke to which she replied "that's comical" without any emotion. What I told her had the set up and punchline of a joke (also the racism and misogyny of my typical subject matter) but none of the heart. That's kind of how I feel about the few attempts this movie makes to be funny or satirical. Oh I get it, their relationships are just like ours even when they are frauds. Wow movie, I never caught on that half of my relationships are built around purchases! Thanks for teaching me about myself movie, now let me get my book of how to create real stakes and drama in a script so I can teach you about being a movie.

The Joneses have the appearance of a successful family but they are a hollow facsimile, "The Joneses" has the appearance of a smart culturally relavant dramdey but it is a hollow facsimile.