"And I'm Done."

This was going to be another story inspired by my favorite phrase, but after I typed the title I paused to use the restroom. My cat was in there, and we don't have any secrets so I just went in front of him. When I was done and cleaning up he gave me this wink that weirded me out, so I feel like I need to finish this post and get out of the house as soon as possible. ENJOY THE ETIQUETTE LESSON!

If you are my friend you have probably heard this. I say this when things are going great and I want to end them

that way, I say this when things are going crappy and I need to eject myself from the conversation. Signifying a clean break, a signal that is ignored 99% of the time, but a signal none the less. Kind of like a yield sign that everyone ignores until some teen driver needs an ambulance.

I am all about the ending. I have a couple rules for how I like to end things, and since I don't know where to take this post I'll talk about them now.

Thanks for coming! I will acknowledge that whatever activity/conversation/exchange of money for services that we did just happened. Whether I liked it or you were too rough, I will give you the indication that it was bearable.

When will I see you again? Whether or not I smelled your hair during our time together (I totally did, and you totally use thermasilk); I like to know when we will be in each other's presence again. Maybe because it's because I'm anxiously counting down the time until I get to hang out with you again, maybe its too mentally prepare myself because you annoy me; that part is not important, what's important is that I have an idea on when its happening.

Goodbye Don't you walk away from me. I'm not your mother. We will re-enforce to each other peace and then walk away and resume our individual lives. I'm not trying to french you, just tell me thanks for coming and thanks for going so I can be done with you. You know what happens when you walk/run away before saying goodbye? You leave it open for awkwardness, and at 27 years old I'm too old to be thinking "Did I just piss that guy off?"

Clean Break GTFO. It is time for you/me/this to be over. I freaking hate people who don't know when to leave. If we are friends please tell me respectfully if I am being that guy. I feel every-single-one of my 27 years today and I don't have time to awkwardly look at you, then the door, then at you again, then nudge my head towards the door. There is a time a time for love, a time for hate. A time for peace, I swear it's not too late

And those are some of my rules about saying goodbye. I think that about wraps up this post, I hope to see you in 2 days when I post again, possibly sooner if SLEEPY CRICKET goes AWOL. I had a really nice time typing this to you and I hope we can do it again sometime. I'm not telling my girlfriend about this post so please don't mention it to her. It'll be our secret, just between you and me, nothing weird about that. No you can't tell your mom about this? What does your mom have to do with anything? I don't tell my mom nothing and I believe the deniability that I have given her about this situation is the best gift a son could give. Oh what? You want to get the police involved? Otsego has like 2 cops and they answer to me!

I'll be seeing you when I see you.

C MINUS