Cosmo Lies!?!

So I get home and I found a raccoon jumping on my keyboard. So I chase him away and I notice he went on www.Cosmopolitan.com. So I'm like, "while I'm here, I better fill out this survey so they know what a real man thinks." So I go through them and notice that these are the most bogus questions I have ever seen since I took the MEAP. The questions haven't been tampered with and you'll find I've made notes and adjustments in bold. Thank you for your time in supporting American freedom.
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We know. Our obsession with clothes kinda baffles you. But we're still dying to know what you love, loathe, and which fashion trends make you want to scratch that sexy head of yours. Spill it all below. Urge to kill meter: 4.6

How do you like a girl to dress on a first date?
Body-hugging jeans and a hot top
A little black dress
Battle ready

Which star has the sexiest style?
Jennifer Aniston. She looks awesome in a pair of jeans and t-shirt
Reese Witherspoon. She's got a refined, classic style you don't see all the time
Beyonce. I love a woman who embraces her curves
Gwen Stefani. Quirky, sporty, and willing to take risks
Bea Arthur. She may be classy, but she's my kind of sassy!

What footwear do you find sexiest?
Heels
Boots
Flats
Skateboard shoes (Any lady that can go from street to vert is appealing)

Which revealing clothing item do you like most?
A mini-skirt
A low-cut blouse
A tummy-baring top
All in one; I like to see all that I can
None. I don't like when a girl shows her goodies Like Ciara, I too believe a women's goodies are her own goodies and should be used how she pleases

She's undressing for the first time. What kind of underwear are you hoping to see? I'm not sure how we got into this situation, but I imagine she got honey on her pants and we are now being chased by a grizzly bear and bunch of honey bees. So she ditches the pants to distract the bees and we climb a tree until the bear goes away
Basic cotton bikini underwear
G-string or thong
Lacy boyshorts
Long Underwear (She must be warm if we are to survive the night)

What color do you like to see most on a woman?
Black
Soft feminine colors like light blues and pastels
Fire-engine reds or deep purples
White
Is shiny a color? If it is, then shiny. If not, screw this question.

Which style habit mystifies you most?
Oversized bags. Is there a more obvious way to show you've got serious baggage?
Pointy-toed shoes. I can't tell if it's a fashion statement or a torture device.
All-black or gray. Would it kill ya to wear some color?
Mucho accessories. Too much jewelry, hats and belts means she's too high maintenance.
Independence. It's just a fad, I'm sure they'll grow out of it

Which trend are you praying your girl doesn't try this season?
Menswear-inspired, high-waisted trousers
Flashy sequins and metallic clothes
Fur coats and accessories
Big cocoon coats and voluminous skirts
Tanning (I like a girl with a little skin on her bones and I'm not talking about weight here. But In about 20-30 years when she's complaining about her flesh falling' off, I'll pull out of my wallet a picture of me pointing at her with the caption, "In, your face!"

We name the trend. You tell us which one is fake:
Windowpane pants
Lantern-sleeve blouses
Jackhammer skirts
Trapeze dresses
Blouson jackets
(How the flip am I supposed to know. You know what, I'm not answering your bs question Cosmo, until you answer mine.)
I name the 'American Gladiators'. You tell me which one is fake:
Nitro
Turbo
Blaze
Laser
Fred Savage

What piece of clothing do you find most intimidating?
Complicated dresses or tops. Do I need an engineering degree to get them off?
In your face low-cut tops or cut-up-to-there skirts. I want to look but I know I shouldn't!
Shoes or boots with spike heels.
Handgun and accessories

Describe the sexiest outfit you've ever seen on a woman:
I think this is a little personal Cosmo, but I will say that I saw it while watching 'Little House on the Prairie".

Describe the worst outfit you've ever seen on a woman:
It's hard to describe, but it was at a funeral and all I remembered was that If I was a lady, I wouldn't be caught dead in that thing. (I hope somebody got that)

Many women will be wearing "cocoon coats" this fall. Describe, in one line, what you think such a coat looks like:
Should be made of silk, soft, opaque, mesh like, composed of multiple layers and should protect the woman long enough for the metamorphosis to complete.