Diet

I use the word “diet” the right way, because I’m always right. “A diet” isn’t something you go on and off, your daily diet is whatever you eat in a day, be it good or bad. So when the new year hit, I didn’t go on a diet, I simply changed my diet. I changed it to include far far less candy, junk, and fast food, and more fruits, vegetable, beans, and anything with the word “fiber” in it. I also drink those ridiculous hunger-curbing health shakes that I’ve always made fun of. But I’m reaching for straws, because it’s hard, and I have deep-seeded behaviors in my brain working against me.

A really big thing for me is portion control. Once I start eating, even if I wasn’t hungry before, I turn in to a staving beast who must feed until the brink of explosion. I made a box of macaroni? I ate a box of macaroni, just because it was there and ready. (Yes, my moms always made me finish my plate before I could lave the table, no matter what, and I still have a hard time leaving any kind of food.)

Another thing I boarder on psychopath with is my need to feed on food that’s free. If I go to a Mexican restaurant that offers complimentary chips in a bottomless basket, or if there is candy sitting out at a party, then I will not stop eating those chips or candy. Ever. Thinking the entire time how “this way I won’t have to eat latter, and waste money”. If someone brings cookies into work and leaves them in the break room for everyone, I will turn into a ninja and keep finding reasons to sneak back there and shove a cookie in my mouth while no one is looking. Even if I am full. Even if they are gross. This psychotic behavior has been very hard to dampen.

But I guess there comes a time and age (let’s call it a quarter-life crisis) when maturity intersects with fear just right and you can start to change. By “you”, I meant “me”, because I’m the one changing here, and you all get to just bask in my glow.


New year weight-loss check-in:
Since the 1st I have lost 16.5 pounds.