Guest Post, courtesy of the Voice of Reason

Since clearly you need a break from C-Minus and Sleepy Cricket is not dedicated to filling that void in your life, I am here to save the day.

C-Minus asked me to contribute something that might be worthy, and all I could think was, "Are you sure you want to be published on the same page as these two guys?" Followed by, "What on earth would I have to say that is even relevant to an audience that is largely non-existent?"

Thankfully, I'm a woman, so I have trouble shutting up and can find plenty to talk about on subjects that men would never dare approach. Today I thought I would dump on crap that I dislike as a woman.

1. How modern society dumps on women doing traditional things: So I like cooking. Don't tell me I'm not a feminist because I like baking. I just happen to make awesome cookies and I know that the fastest way to get those cookies is to make them myself. That does not imply that I want some baboon of a man to tell me to "get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich." In fact, I will slap you if you say that. I just think that the beauty of feminism is that women can now choose what they want to do with their lives.

2. Romantic comedies: I know what you're saying now... WTF? A girl who doesn't like romantic comedies? Okay, so here's the thing. While I like the storyline and enjoy the fact that I can watch an entire movie without gratuitous gore, I generally hate how perfect the whole situation is. First of all, I've done some research, and it appears men like that do not exist. Second of all, real women are not that pretty and we do have personalities. Sorry. And not only that, but no matter how many times I watch Sleepless in Seattle, it never seems like a good idea to hook up with a stranger you've talked with for literally 30 seconds at the top of the Empire State Building. Call me crazy.

3. Men: They're all irritating me, for reasons I can't reveal.

4. Dating: It's the most inventive form of torture we have that is currently allowed by the Geneva Convention. And if you don't believe me, get on e-Harmony sometime and try to meet somebody who is interesting and/or not desperate.

5. Girls who act dumb: You are an abomination to my gender. Thanks for moving us back a hundred and fifty years in time. If you are so emotionally insecure that you have to act dumb in order to find and keep a man, you should probably pull out a phone book and look under "Shrink" because that's who you need to be calling. Work on your self confidence because, let's face it, you're better than that and you know it.

I would like to point out that not all women feel the same way as me (men, read this as: ALL WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT). I would also like to point out that this is not a complete list, and as I am a woman, I will likely change my mind on all of this in an hour or so.

I hope this post was more constructive than a Michigan road. Thank you, gentlemen, for the opportunity to make this happen.