Ok ABC its time to take a break.

ABC we need to talk. You've had a couple decent years, but I think you are at a point were you need to take the rest of the Television season off and figure out what the heck your plan is. You are at a crossroads, are you going to be successful like CBS or are you going to be a joke like NBC. I want you to take a step back and think of the following 5 signs that you are going off the rails.

At 9:12 PM Tuesday I just watched that one chick from Firefly unhinge her alien jaw, eat a live rat and then spit that rat into a baby's mouth.

I have seen in total 25 minutes of the show V (I keep wanting to write for Vendetta after it), that 25 minutes might be split into 2 minutes of every episode produced. Just give up on the show. No one likes it and those neilsen families you paid off to say they watched it aren't worth the damage you are doing to America by keeping this crap on the air. When the Olive Garden ad during the first commercial break has better acting, special effects and writing then your program... just take that as a sign that you need to stop.

She has been on local TV for over 20 years and I still have no idea who this "Miranda" witch is or why her opinions on local events matter.

She just told me that she will be highlighting a technical center or something. Miranda and this "face of 4" chick probably have dementia to a level where you could just stop recording them and they would still think they are TV.

Every actor on every ABC show looks like their previous work included all the "talky" parts of pornography.

Maybe its my terrible HD tv or maybe its their awful makeup and wrinkle concelor, but everyone on this network looks they are an inflatable toy used at bachelor parties and my Wednesday lunch breaks.

BRING BACK TGIF YOU TERRORISTS!

You don't even have to come up with new show ideas (not that you would ever do that in the first place). I want the following television line up with new episodes and all the actors playing their current ages but in the same situations as they were in in their heyday.

8:00PM Family Matters (with buff Urkel)

8:30PM Boy Meets World (turn this into a Wonder Years crossover episode)

9:00PM Dana Carvey Show (I know it wasn't on Fridays but shut up)

9:30PM Step By Step (with zombified Suzanne Summers)

Everyone on your next work displays an irritating amount of cleavage regardless of age or gender

Congratulations ABC you hired someone from the old V show/miniseries/movie/drug trip... but now she's 60-something and shouldn't be wearing a V top cut down to her nips.

I didn't intentionally say V top because she was in the V show but I will end on that delightful happenstance.

Grey's Anatomy Sucks. Lost wasn't good after season 1. Jimmy Kimmel is ok but I'm not allowed to stay up that late.