"If you hate your job so much you should just quit"

How are you? You seem down? What's going on? You just got out of work! You hate it don't you? Just say it. Everyone knows you are the guy who hates his job, they know this because I tell them.

So we have established that you hate your job because you don't want to give me a piggy back ride or other stupid crap directly after work. What are we going to do about this situation? Of course I'm going to help, I got connections. And if I can manage to get myself a job I should be able to bum some spare change for you as well.

Forward me a copy of your resume and references, and for s&g's write a cover letter. I don't know what kind of career I am going to find you so just write the cover letter as if you are applying to be worth my time. Get that stuff to me tonight I'm going to be meeting some people after I abrubtly leave this conversation. The people are totally real and they totally have the jobs you want.

(conversation repeats for the rest of my relationship with this person until one day they actually come up with an option)

Oh hey what's up? Yeah still at your job. You still hate it don't you. Oh that's my guy, always hating his job. You hating your job is what I love about you. Options? What? Oh job options that I said I had for you because I awkwardly forced the conversation on to your career even though we are barely acquantances. Yeah well I got 2 options for you:

Option 1: Arizona.

I don't have what we call "connections" but it is a state and I can get you directions to it. Just watch out for the sun, if your skin drops a couple shades the locals might try to throw you across the border. You are a US citizen right?

Option 2: If you hate your job so much you should just quit.

Dude you should. Sometimes not having any money is the best way to get money. You should just do it. I knew a guy onetime. You should just quit. Be all like in that movie where the guy was like "you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck" and then point at cool guy and be like "you're cool. I'M OUT!"

Yeah so let me know how it goes. Oh and can you see if your place is hiring?