The EE Famous People/Movie Awards 2010

Welcome everyone to the Expedited Emotions Famous People Awards. We at the awards have viewed every single piece of media created in 2010 and would like to reward those who have been exceptional in their work. Without further delay let's hand out some well deserved awards.

Best Visual Effects- Splice

Many movies in 2010 had bigger budgets, but Splice had the biggest balls and showed it in it's depiction of Dren. Where as a lesser movie would have accomplished the human alien hybrid though CGI, Splice actually asked an actress to cover her normal bits with makeup and her naughty bits with nothing. Is bad makeup and gratuitous nudity a special effect? Yes, it is the most special effect on earth.

Best Direction- Splice

Many would highlight David Fincher for his technical mastery in The Social Network or Darren Aronosfky for the depths he pushed Natalie Portman in Black Swan. For the Expedited Emotions Famous People Awards we took a look at what the director had to deal with. Some directors direct actors, some direct animals; but only ... the guy who directed Splice directed Human/Animal Hybrids. On top of that he had to tell Adrien Brody and that one girl how to act like the dumbest scientists in the world. With all of those variables the fact that Splice has a beginning middle and end is nothing short of a miracle and we would be the second dumbest scientists in the world if we gave the award to any other movie.

Best Screenplay- Splice

At first the thing is like part of an animal and one of the scientists. Then its a otter looking thing. Then it's a little girl baby thing. Then its a naked woman thing that gives male members of the audience inverted boners when they think about the sexual acts which will no doubt be taking place at all of the convenient act breaks. And then it turns into a murderous man thing that wants to be "in....side....you." How can we give this award to anyone else? This doesn't even take into account the hastily thrown in subplot of the female scientists mommy issues.

Best use of 3D- Splice

The best use of 3D is the non-use of 3D, and in this regard Splice is the only non-3D movie released in 2010 so it is the obvious winner.

Most deserving of a direct to DVD sequel that I will see on Netflix streaming one day and get super pumped about- Splice

Oh man, I promise you Splice 2 will come out in the next couple of years. Anyone who would potentially have to be paid a lot has been killed off, and there is always Splicey looking models looking to break into acting on the cheap. If Splice 2 is not made in the next 2 years then I will produce, write, direct and star in it myself.

Thanks to all of the nominees this year. Despite films being worth less and less in the audiences minds each day, what you do is important and we hope you keep pushing the boundries of good taste and naked alien looking things.