TWO person who I don't want to be like when I grow up.

The 2/3 of this gem. That part was dumb because I was super tired. This part is dumb because I can't focus but want to get this idea out of my head. ENJOY!

And now we get to the second person at my job who I don't want to be like when I grow up. This man is a couple years older than me and is quite a bit more successful in the eyes of those in charge. I think we are both similarly driven and have similar interests. He is married and I believe he has his own house with plans to like have kids or whatever real grown ups do.

It all sounds well and good so far, until you realize (maybe on first sight, maybe after months of working together) that this man only really cares about himself. The wife, the job, the whatever are only bullet points on the resume of life that he is creating. When he want's something he will proclaim it as if he is God speaking down from upon the heavens. The third episode of management material (actually a majority of the whole show) is about this guy's thought process. He wants it because he wants it and that should be enough reason for anyone. If he talk say it louder or repeat it more than it should be his.

And so far he has been successful living as a person who is the center of his own universe, maybe due to the tricks he has learned in being self centered. I will tell you some of those tricks now.

How to be a successful self-centered person:

1. Involve yourself in everything you see. Whether it be work or fun you must involve yourself in the process. Notice how I didn't say "work" work is for suckers trying to achieve a common goal. You are out for yourself so either redirect your crew through your way of doing things or change the mission to a more self serving goal, but don't let the group take credit for the work. let them be pawns that you are controlling.

2. Make yourself irreplaceable. Take at least a couple of components necessary for the job to be done and keep them under your lock and key. If anyone asks for you to let the use the items tell them that you need to look the finished product over before you give it the final ok. That way you have sometime to change the coversheet order of people responsible.

3. State your goals and current projects, even if they don't exist. Upgrade your hobbies into missions. You don't drink on the weekends, you "microbrew". You don't go to the strip club afterwork, you "network" or "train for a marathon." Build (or tell people you are going to build) something, it can be worthless or it can be worth-negative for all you care. It's just something you are working on and that you can construct as a monument to your own awesomeness.

I am going on a tangent and I'll try to get the rest of this post on track.

I consider myself a driven person, but I also have a healthy does of self-hatred/love for others that keeps me balanced. But when I get in my zone it can be easy for me to ignore other things and people. Sometimes I ignore things and people purposely so that I don't dwell on dumb stuff.

I made this cartoon a couple years ago called REMOVED BY ME, maybe you will see it someday. And it was kind of funny and the most successful internet thing that I have ever done. The reason I think it was successful is because it was only about me and I just promoted the hell out of it where ever I could. My more recent stuff I enjoy a lot more because I was able to incorporate my friends and occasional nemisi into it. Not only can I enjoy our crappy writing, camera work and acting; I can enjoy the fun we had making it. REMOVED BY ME was not fun, REMOVED BY ME was me trapped inside of my own head with all of the maliciousness and hate that I am composed of. I think if the TWO person I don't want to be like when I grow up was into making crappy Internet videos, he would make something like my cartoon. A symbol of one man's voice because that man's voice is the only one who matters. I'm glad I made REMOVED BY ME because it got some demons out of my system but I wouldn't want to make it again. Unless you paid me, then I'd make whatever the heck you paid me to make.

I just skimmed this before going to bed and realized I mostly talked about myself instead of the person I don't want to be like. This proves that my transformation into the TWO person that I don't want to turn into is beginning. The suit... it makes me feel so... powerful.